


Hard Choices

by elladansgirl



Category: Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-22
Updated: 2012-02-22
Packaged: 2017-10-31 14:25:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/345012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elladansgirl/pseuds/elladansgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The twins have chosen differently and Elladan is not sure he can accept this as well as having to deal with everything else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Tolkien owns them and I play with them.  
> Title: Making Choices.  
> Author: Jade (elladansgirl)  
> Email: bc.cougarj@gmail.com  
> Beta: Jaiden_S  
> Rating: R/NC-17  
> Pairing: Elladan/OFC, Elladan/Glorfindel  
> Warning: Angst, sex, Het, Slash, Character death (implied)  
> Feedback: Live for it!  
> Summary: The twins have chosen differently and Elladan is not sure he can accept this as well as having to deal with everything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Tolkien owns then and I only play with them  
> Title: Making Choices  
> Author: Jade  
> Fandom: Tolkien  
> Artist: Rhapsody  
> Link to art if applicable: http://rhapsodybrd.deviantart.com/gallery/35478978  
> Characters: Elladan/OFC, Elladan/Glorfindel  
> Rating: R/NC-17  
> Warning: slash. Het, Angst, Character death.  
> Beta: Jaiden_s  
> Summary: The twins have chosen differently and Elladan is not sure he can accept this as well as having to deal with everything else.
> 
> A/N:Thank you Rhapsody for the very lovely artwork! Also I've added the link at the end of chapter three to anyway wishing to read more of Elladan and Elrohir's final meeting.

 

 

Elladan knew there was something on Elrohir’s mind, he could feel it.He had been feeling it for some time now as he waited for Elrohir to come to him.His twin could be as stubborn as their father at times and would not be pushed into discussing anything until he was ready.Elladan was trying to be patient and not rush his twin, but it was not easy. 

They had been through many things together. They suffered after finding their mother bruised and beaten.They stood side by side as they watched the ship that took her away from them. They hunted the orcs together, wanting the foul creatures to feel as much pain as the twins could deliver.They learned to rely on each other for many things after that, each always knowing when they were needed. 

It was not only bad times they shared but also plenty of happy ones. They had many great memories of spending time in Lorien with their grandparents. They were also very protective brothers to their younger sibling, Arwen, though she often complained of their over protectiveness.Just recently, they had watched as she married Aragorn after they had escorted her to Gondor. She had chosen a mortal life to be with her love. Though Elladan still had his doubts about her choice, it was still her choice to make. 

It was soon afterward when Elrohir began acting differently. He was often more quiet than usual and would spend more time alone than with Elladan or any of the others.At first Elladan thought it was how different Imladris felt after Arwen left and with their father's impending departure. When he tried to speak to his twin about his concerns, Elrohir often flashed him a calming smile and assured him that all was well.Elladan was not so sure, and his concern grew as more time had passed. 

It was just a few short weeks after Arwen's wedding, and the twins found that saying goodbye to their father, Elrond, the day he left had not been easy.The twins knew of their father’s pain over losing their sister, his only daughter.Elladan had a brief chance to speak with his father before he sailed. He told Elrond of his concerns for Elrohir. As he always did, Elrond had merely embraced his oldest son and told him that everything happens for a reason, even if that reason was not always clear. That was not the reply Elladan had been looking for, but he decided it was easier to simply embrace his father rather than to add to his worries.

Though he knew Elrohir had also spoken to their father, he had neither asked nor been told what their conversation had been about. Elrohir was entitled, just as he was, to have one last private moment with their father.Neither of them knew when or if they would see Elrond again. Arwen had made her choice; the twins had yet to make theirs.

Elladan knew that day would be soon and as promised to each other, the twins had vowed to once again stand side by side as they made their choice. He assumed their choice would be the same; however, at times he had his doubts. Over the years, the twins had lived both among the elves and among men. The twins had managed to fit in with both races yet Elrohir seemed more at ease among men. The thought that Elrohir might chose the life of a mortal had crossed Elladan's mind more than once. Elladan felt his place was among the elves but what if he was wrong? What if they did choose differently? No matter how much he tried, Elladan could not stop these questions from entering his mind. 

It was a gentle nudge from Elrohir that pulled Elladan out of his thoughts. They stood silently as they watched their father board the ship. They each waved in return to him as he stood looking back towards them.Elladan was pleased that Erestor had decided to sail with Elrond. He also knew his father was pleased when Glorfindel decided to stay behind with the twins and watch over them as he had all their lives.They stood looking out over the water long after the ship had gone beyond their sight.It was only when Glorfindel placed a hand on their shoulders that they knew it was time to return home. 

Finding it too quiet, Elladan had trouble sleeping that first night. Twice he had found himself at his father’s chamber door only to realize he was no longer there to greet him, no longer there to assure him that things would work out for him, or that things would once again go back to as they were before.Making his way to his balcony, Elladanlooked out over the valley.He could easily picture the way the realm had been. There wasn’t a day that went by that the elves of Imladris weren't busy preparing for some celebration or feast. Now, his home felt cold and empty. 

Many elves still remained, though he was not sure for how long. Elrond’s reason for leaving had been his need to be reunited with his wife. Elladan wondered now if his father had not seen what the future held for Imladris and decided he could not bear to watch it, leaving that duty to his sons. 

“At some point, you will need sleep.” Elrohir spoke quietly as he came up behind his twin. He had seen Elladan wandering the halls and followed him back to Elladan’s room. 

“As will you,” Elladan replied as he turned to face his twin.He noticed now that Elrohir looked just as tired as Elladan felt yet neither of them could find enough peace to sleep. 

“You are concerned,” Elrohir commented. He could see it clearly in his twin’s eyes 

“Should I not be?” Elladan asked. “I can feel it ‘Ro, something bothers you. Why will you not talk to me?” 

Elladan watched his twin and for a brief moment he thought Elrohir was about to say something. He sighed when his twin merely shook his head and let out a deep breath 

“It is nothing,” Elrohir told him. “Too many changes at once. It is a lot to take in,” he added. 

As Elrohir stepped closer, Elladan closed his eyes as his younger twin placed a light kiss on his forehead. He watched as Elrohir turned and left the balcony and eventually left Elladan’s room.Sighing softly, Elladan once again turned to look out over the valley. He was more concerned about Elrohir than he had been before and he had no idea what to do about it. 

He no longer had his father to turn to for advice, nor was Erestor there to speak with either.Perhaps he could speak with Glorfindel, though it would not be at that moment. Glorfindel had said his goodbye to two of his dearest friends earlier and Elladan wanted to give him some time to himself. He was sure they had plenty of time to figure things out. Little did he know at the time, just how wrong he was. 

Elladan’s dreams had been anything but peaceful. He could see Elrohir in the distance but no matter how hard he tried, Elladan could not reach his twin.He could see Elrohir trying to tell him something and Elladan became frustrated when he could not hear what his twin was trying to say.The dream began to fade just after he saw Elrohir tilt his head and wave in his direction. 

“I have this dream every night,” Elladan told Glorfindel a few days later. Elladan looked as tired as he felt and Glorfindel had noticed this. The golden elf had finally had Elladan sit down and speak about what was bothering him 

“Have you spoken to Elrohir about this dream?” Glorfindel asked, offering Elladan a glass of wine after he had poured one for each of them.

“No, I have not.” Elladan shook his head. “He seems distracted and I do not wish to burden with this,” he added, sipping the wine slowly. “It is nothing but a bad dream.” 

“Are you trying to convince me of this, or yourself?” Glorfindel asked ignoring the look that Elladan gave him. “Your father had the gift of foresight.” 

“This was not a vision,” Elladan replied, his tone sounding harsher than he had wished for. 

Elladan sipped his wine slowly and could feel Glorfindel watching him. Sighing softly, Elladan took his wine with him as he moved to the window. He closed his eyes briefly as he felt Glorfindel’s hand on his shoulder.It comforted him more than he had ever admitted to the older elf and even now, he still said nothing 

“You both have barely spent any time together lately,” Glorfindel said. “Perhaps that is what the dream is about. Why not take some time and go off hunting with Elrohir?” he suggested 

“I believe you are right,” Elladan replied, turning slowly to face Glorfindel. “We’ve both been distracted with everything that needs to be done.” he added. 

“Then go find your twin and spend some time with him,” Glorfindel told him. “Let me worry about everything else.” 

“Thank you, Glorfindel.” Elladan said quietly. He took a step closer and held Glorfindel in a tight embrace. He had not hugged Glorfindel that way since he had been an elfling. He was secretly pleased, though, when Glorfindel returned the gesture. 

“Go,” Glorfindel told him, pulling back slowly, “and enjoy spending the day with him.” 

Elladan nodded before he handed the empty glass to Glorfindel. He did like the idea of spending time with his twin, yet, a small part of him wanted to stay where he was with Glorfindel as well. He only now realized the fire burning and the warmth then seemed to surround him. The room itself was welcoming and as he glanced back at Glorfindel, he could see how relaxed the other elf was.

With his glass in one hand, Glorfindel was now leaning back in his chair. His head was tilted back and from where Elladan stood, he saw that the golden elf's eyes were closed. The long golden hair, that Elladan had always admired, had been left loose. It was easy to picture the golden strands lying against Glorfindel's chest, if only his tunic had been not been buttoned.

Opening his eyes, Glorfindel thought he head Elladan chuckle lightly. He lifted his head in time to see the door close behind Elladan as the younger elf left. 

~ * ~ * ~ * 

“She still admires you,” Elrohir said suddenly. The twins were on the fourth day of their hunting trip. Their plan had been to be gone for three days only, however, neither one of them was in a rush to return and they took their time on the way home. 

“And who would that be?”Elladan asked, arching an eyebrow as he glanced over at his brother. It was late and they had fallen back into the habit of talking into the late hours of the night. They had stopped a short while ago and set up camp for the night. After making something to eat, both were resting on their bed rolls that had been placed close to the fire.

“Sirwen,” he replied, grinning at first then laughing when Elladan had rolled his eyes. “If I remember correctly, you once had a thing for her as well.” 

“That feels like it was a lifetime ago,” Elladan sighed. He turned onto his side so he was facing his twin. He grinned when Elrohir had also turned to face him at almost the same time. 

“That’s a long time to make an elleth wait, Elladan,” the younger twin teased. “Did you ever take her out for the ride you had promised?” he asked. 

“And just how would you know about that?” Elladan questioned him. “You were listening?” 

Elrohir glanced at his twin, trying to judge his reaction. When he saw Elladan trying to hold back a grin, Elrohir burst out laughing 

“Of course,” he admitted. “You, however, still have not answered me,” he pointed out. “Did you both go riding?”

“No,” Elladan replied, turning onto his back to stare up at the stars. “Too much happened afterward and to be honest, I forgot.” 

Elrohir watched as Elladan had rolled onto his back. He continued to rest on his side as he silently looked at Elladan, who now seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. 

“For all it’s worth,” Elrohir said after a while, “I always thought you would both make a good couple.” He saw Elladan slowly turn his head towards him. “Then again, I once said the same thing about you and Glorfindel.” 

“Will you ever stop reminding me?” Elladan asked him. Only his twin knew of the feelings Elladan once had for Glorfindel. He used to find any reason to be around Glorfindel, whether it had been to tell the older elf about his day, or to find comfort when he was upset. It was always Glorfindel that Elladan went to, even before going to his own father. 

“Good night, Elladan.” Elrohir chuckled as he turned onto his side and, within minutes, drifted off to sleep. 

It was another two days before they returned to Imladris and led two very tired horses into the stables.As he had often done, Glorfindel came out to meet them.Both twins chuckled when Glorfindel looked them over slowly. It had always been his way to make sure they were not injured in anyway. 

“Looks like some old habits never die,” Elrohir chuckled, greeting Glorfindel.As he turned, he grinned when he saw the elleth watching them and motioned to him.

“She has waited long enough, Elladan,” he told his twin then rolled his eyes when Elladan didn't move. “Sirwen come,” he called out to her “I must speak with Glorfindel, but, it is late and I would not have you walk home alone. Elladan will see you home.” 

Elladan glared at his twin, but Elrohir merely gave him an innocent grin. Anything Elladan had thought to say would have to wait as Sirwen had moved to stand next to Elladan 

“Just remember what I told you,” Elrohir chuckled as he turned to leave. He stopped and looked back when Elladan called to him. 

“Training field tomorrow morning,” Elladan reminded him. “You promised.” 

“And I shall always keep any promise I make to you,” Elrohir told him, suddenly becoming serious. “Just as I will always be here when I am needed.”

Elrohir’s last comment brought back all of the worries that Elladan had for his twin. He started to say something but Elrohir had already turned and was heading inside with Glorfindel following. 

“Is everything alright?” Sirwen asked softly. She gave Elladan a gentle smile, then wrapped her arm around his. 

“I am sure things are fine,” he said, though he did not sound particularly sure. “For now, my only duty is to get you home safely.” 

Sirwen giggled, bowed her head slightly and allowed him to turn with her and slowly walk her home.Neither one of them noticed that Elrohir watched silently until they were out of sight. 

~ * ~

“They did not!”Sirwen said, trying to stop laughing long enough to take a few deep breaths 

“They did,” Glorfindel continued, ignoring the look that Elladan was giving him. “Erestor’s hair always had a blue shine to it from that moment on,” he chuckled, “and he never again trusted them with any kind of soap.” 

Elladan shook his head and rolled his eyes as Glorfindel flashed him an innocent grin. The golden haired elf seemed to enjoy telling Sirwen stories of the trouble the twins had caused when they were younger. Sirwen, he knew, enjoyed hearing them and Elladan had to admit he enjoyed hearing her laugh.

The three of them looked up just as Elrohir had joined them. The twins greeted each other first before the younger twin greeted the others. He had traveled to Gondor briefly. The journey had been for trading purposes, but Elrohir had taken the opportunity to visit Arwen.

“How are things in Gondor,” Glorfindel asked as Elrohir took a seat “and with your sister?” 

“Things are well in the White City,” Elrohir replied, taking the glass of wine that Elladan now offered him. “Arwen sends her love and she is expecting,” he gladly told them. “Aragorn will soon have a son, though I did ask if he hoped for twins,” he added. “He did not seem thrilled with the idea.Arwen found it all rather amusing.”

Elladan chuckled as Elrohir told them more about his journey to Gondor. He sighed quietly as he thought of Arwen. It had been years now since he had seen her and hearing his twin mention her, made Elladan realize how much he missed his youngest sibling.

As he watched his twin, Elladan noticed the way that Elrohir spoke of Gondor. He could hear the excited tone in his brother’s voice. He had also not failed to notice the sparkle in Elrohir’s eyes, something he had not seen in a long time.It was obvious that the visit to Rohan had been good for Elrohir and the youngest of the twins seemed much more relaxed than he had been in quite some time. 

“You are already planning to return?” Elladan asked, having heard Elrohir tell this to Glorfindel.

“I promised Arwen I would return after her son is born.” Elrohir replied “The invitation to visit our nephew was for us both, Elladan, not just me.” 

Elladan did not give his twin a reply, not sure what to say or why he could not shake the feeling that had moved through him. He glanced over at Sirwen when she slid her hand into his and gave his a light squeeze. He was not sure Sirwen would fully understand his hesitation. He longed to see his sister again would welcome his nephew to the family. It was the thought of seeing how Arwen may have aged since he last saw her that stopped him. The feeling that Elrohir was eager to return also worried him. He once again wondered if Elrohir preferred the company of men instead of the elves they had grown up with. 

“I need to catch up on some sleep,” Elrohir said as he stood and stepped away from the table. “The journey home was uneventful, but it seemed longer than usual.” 

He watched his twin leave first then stood up, still holding Sirwen’s hand. “I promised you a walk by the lake before I took home,” he told her, kissing her hand softly as she stood up as well. They both wished Glorfindel a good night before they left the hall together. 

“You said you would stop your worrying about him when he returned,” Sirwen said softly as they walked slowly along the lake. 

“I know,” Elladan sighed. He stopped walking and had slowly eased his arms around her. “I have every intention of stopping,” he told her. “Only now I have this bad feeling that something will happen soon.” 

“Perhaps you can sense that you must make a choice soon,” Sirwen replied, reaching up to play with some of his hair. “I believe the two of you have put it off for far too long now.” 

Elladan tilted her head up to face him. He could see the concern in her eyes as well as the fear.He wanted to tell her right at that moment what he felt his choice was going to be. However he made the promise, years earlier, that Elrohir would be the first to be told. Though he had enjoyed his time among men and had been interested in their history, he had always felt more himself when he was among the elves.

“It is late, Elladan.” she whispered softly. She knew not to push this subject with him and the thought that he could choose to live as a mortal still worried her.She knew his feelings for her were true, as hers were for him. Still, she had made him promise to follow his heart when the time came. 

“I will walk you home,” Elladan replied as he reached for her hand. When she shook her head, he raised an eyebrow in reply. 

“You will kiss me first, then walk me home,” she told him, purring softly when Elladan pulled her back against him 

“As you wish,” he whispered into her ear. He tilted her head back slowly, then kissed her. He felt her shiver against him as the kiss deepened slowly, both elves moaning quietly just as it ended.

“Sleep well,” Elladan whispered into her ear once they had reached her house. “Come to the stables tomorrow,” he told her, watching as she reached behind her to open her door. “I will have our horses ready to go riding.” 

“Until tomorrow then.” She smiled at him then giggled as he kissed her again. “Enough,” she whispered softly. “Go home, Elladan,” she told him, pushing him back gently.

Taking her hand and kissing it softly, Elladan waited until she had stepped inside her home and closed the door then turned to return to his own.He stopped briefly when he thought he heard Sirwen. When he had heard nothing else, he continued on his way. 

“Are you trying to scare me to death?” Sirwen hissed at Elrohir once he had removed his hand from her mouth. She had not expected anyone to be in her home and had almost screamed when he had touched her shoulder. “Why are you even here?” 

“I must ask you to do something for me,” Elrohir replied, his voice sounding almost desperate. “I would not ask if it were not important,” he added. “Go to him tonight, Sirwen please.” 

“Why tonight?” She asked, seeing the panic in his eyes. “I am to see him in the morning.” 

Elrohir shook his head as he took both her hands into his. He took a deep breath and had closed his eyes briefly. He had known for days now that it was time to make their choice. Not only would he choose differently from his twin but he would be breaking a promise as well. His heart and destiny was among men, it always had been. It was a fact he had tried to keep hidden from his twin to keep from hurting him. This was the reason he would also break his promise. He knew he would not be able to handle seeing the pain in Elladan's eyes when he made his choice. He had seen the pained looked in his own father's eyes whenever Elrond had spoken of his twin, Elros. 

“He will know, Sirwen. He will feel my choice,” he told her, “and he will need you.” He nodded when she looked up at him suddenly, knowing she now understood. “I know what his choice will be; I have always known,” he told her. “I knew just from the way he looks at you. It even shows in the way he watches over this realm, just as our father had.” 

Sirwen could see how much it was hurting him to know his choice would not be the same as his twin’s. She wiped away her own tears before she reached up and hugged him tightly 

“Take me to him,” she whispered softly, suddenly wanting to be close to Elladan even before Elrohir made his choice. She would not tell him why she was there, though she had the feeling she may not have to. Elladan would know soon enough that the time had come, their choices must be made. 

~ * ~ 

Sirwen had to take a few deep breaths before she slowly opened his door. Elrohir had given her his key and she made her way quietly inside. She thought he would still have been awake and it surprised her to find him already in his bed.He seemed to be resting peacefully and she did not have the heart to wake him, not yet anyway. She should not have been surprised that he knew she was there, yet she still gave a startled cry when he suddenly pulled her onto the bed with him. 

“Remind me to thank my twin later.” Elladan grinned at her

“Your twin?” she asked sounding more nervous than she would have liked.

“He is the only one who had the extra key,” Elladan replied. “This key,” he added as he placed his hand over her hand that held the key. 

“If you would rather I not be here...” she began to say before he cut her off, making her moan softly as he kissed her.

“Having you here was the second wish I made this night,” he whispered softly into her ear. 

“Your second wish?” she asked, trying not to lose focus as she could feel him kissing slowly along her neck. She shivered as she gasped his name softly. “What was your first wish?” 

“To make my choice,” he replied. “To finally decide what path to take.”He turned her head back to face him when she had looked away. “I chose immortality, Sirwen,” he said, wiping her tears. “I knew the moment I came home tonight what life I wanted to live.” 

Sirwen smiled at him, wanting to enjoy this moment with him.She closed her eyes when he leaned over and kissed her, sighing softly when he moved to kiss along her neck. 

“Elladan,” she gasped lightly, lifting his head so he was looking at her. She could see the relief in his eyes now that he had made his choice but the thought of what else he would soon be feeling broke her heart. 

He kissed her again, tenderly this time, then turned her onto her side and pressed up against her back. He grinned at the way she shivered against him as he kissed the back of her neck. 

“Stay with me tonight,” he whispered into her ear, “just like this. I want to enjoy waking up with you beside me.” 

Sirwen nodded silently, not trusting herself to speak at the moment.She started to say that they should get some sleep when she felt him tense suddenly then start shaking as he held her. She knew he could feel Elrohir make his choice. 

“Elladan?” she called out when she heard him whimper behind her. She turned slowly to face him, running her hand through his hair. She had tears in her own eyes when she saw his. Her heart ached for him when she watched his eyes close slowly as he whispered Elrohir’s name.

“Please,” she whispered softly, kissing the top of Elladan’s head. He had finally stopped shaking as he slept, but it was Sirwen who could not stop shaking now. “Please,” she repeated softly, “do not regret the choice you made.” She whispered into his ear as he slept restlessly. 

~ * ~ * ~ 

He felt the others watching him closely, though some hid it better than others.He had barely spoken to anyone since that night. He was not even sure what to say that would make things any easier.He did not doubt that those around him knew what Elrohir’s choice had been. The tension he felt in the air now was the same he had felt after Arwen had chosen the life of a mortal as well.He had understood her choice, she followed her heart out of love, however, he could not even begin to understand why his own twin had not chosen immortality. 

“What is this?” Elladan asked as Glorfindel dropped the sealed message on his desk.It was rare for him to be speaking with others while in his study these days. Looking up at the older elf, he saw it was clear that Glorfindel was not going to back down.Elladan knew that look of defiance in Glorfindel’s eyes all too well. 

“From your twin,” Glorfindel replied, silently daring Elladan to try and make him return it. He folded his arms over his chest as he glared at the oldest of the twins. “Since you refuse to speak with him then perhaps you will read what he has to say.” 

“And if I don’t?” Elladan questioned. He reached out and ran his hand over the note but did not pick it up. 

“Then, Elladan, I will read it to you.” Glorfindel’s reply came out as a growl.“If you wish to understand his choice then you will either read the letter or you will speak with him,” he added. “It is the only way.” 

Glancing once more towards the letter, Elladan could not give Glorfindel a reply.He knew, of course, that Glorfindel was right. Only Elrohir could speak of his reasons for choosing as he had. Elladan's’ concern was that if he listened to what his twin would say then he would have no excuse to be angry with him. He did not want to have to face the fact that Elrohir would age and would die as a result. 

“He leaves in one week’s time.” Glorfindel’s voice cut into Elladan’s thoughts. “He feels the tension here, as we all do,” Glorfindel continued. “He feels it would be best if he leaves, though I have tried to tell him otherwise. Perhaps if you try…” he added as he left, closing the door quietly behind him. 

 

  


It was a long few minutes before Elladan looked away from the door. His hand was still resting on the letter written by his twin. The answers he wished for could very well be written in Elrohir’s own words. There was still something that held Elladan back from opening the letter.He just was not ready to face the truth just yet.

With the letter tucked into the inside pocket of his tunic, Elladan left his study.He quietly made his way down the halls then slipped outside the manor. His plan had been to make his way down to the stables and perhaps find some peace while out for a ride.It was not the stables where he found himself, walking instead down the paths of the old garden.He could picture how it used to be, flowers lining the paths from beginning to end.Now, it was overrun by vines and weeds.Since his mother had sailed, then his father, the garden had not been cared for.He realized now how much he missed seeing the flowers, how his mother’s roses had always been in full bloom no matter what the season. 

Finding the old fallen tree, Elladan turned and leaned against it.He had a good view of the manor from where he stood and the sight was heartbreaking.Imladris had always been full of life. Elves, men and the occasion dwarf or even hobbit could be seen wandering down the many paths.Plans for a celebration were always being made, no matter what the reason.Now it felt as if the residents of Imladris were merely living there and keeping to themselves.

“Would you like some company?”Sirwen asked softly as she slowly walked towards him.She noticed that he had not been aware of her approach.In the past, only Glorfindel had even been able to sneak up on the twins. Now it seemed that almost everyone could. 

“I would,” Elladan said, taking her hand once she had stood before him.

Sirwen gave him a small gentle smile as he lifted her hand and kissed the back of it softly. Reaching out, she ran her hand slowly though his hair, allowing him to guide her to him and sighed as she felt his arms move slowly around her 

“It does not have to be this way, Elladan,” she whispered softly, knowing what was on his mind. “Will you not talk to him?” 

“I have thought of it,” he admitted as he sighed softly. “For the first time in many years, I find myself not knowing what to say to him.” 

With both hands in his hair, Sirwen tilted his head back and gently kissed his forehead.She knew the effect this was having on him, on both of them.She had seen the pain in Elrohir’s eyes and it matched the pain in Elladan’s as well. 

“Perhaps you will find the words once you see him,” she said. “Do not wait until it is too late,” she added quietly. 

“He wrote a letter.” Elladan sighed, leaning into her touch as she played with some of his hair 

“I know of the letter,” she admitted.” It was me who suggested he allow Glorfindel to bring it to you,” she said, smiling as he looked at her and arched his eyebrow. “He is the only elf I know who would dare just walk into your study whether he was invited or not.” 

Despite the stress he was feeling, the heartbreak of his brother’s choice, Elladan managed to laugh at her reply. The innocent look she was giving him had no effect. He knew she was far from being as innocent as she would have others believe. 

Keeping her hand in his, Elladan pushed off the tree and started back towards the manor, walking slowly along the path with Sirwen at his side. She always had a way of making him feel better, whether it was with soft spoken words or just a comforting touch. 

“Too many changes he told her quietly. He stopped halfway back and turned on the path to face her. “It does not feel like home anymore,” he added. 

“Only you can change that,” she told him, touching his cheek softly before she trailed her fingers along his jaw slowly. “Your father left you in charge of the realm. The land feels what you feel,” she added “If you wish for it to be as it once was, then change this mood you are in.” 

Elladan rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes when he felt her hands move gently through his hair. Sighing gently, he wrapped his arms around her and eased her against him, embracing her tenderly.

“Go speak with him,” she whispered into his ear softly.“You will only regret it if you don’t.” She felt him take her hand in his again and she took a step back. “Do not let him leave here thinking you hate him.” 

“I do not hate him.” Elladan replied as they started back towards the manor. 

“We all know this,” Sirwen replied, “but it is not me you need to say this to.” 

Once they made their way back inside, Elladan had been about to head once more to his study when Sirwen stopped him. 

“It is late,” she said softly. “Take the letter to read tonight, and then in the morning, go see your twin,” she whispered before kissing his cheek.

Elladan could only stand there as he watched her walk away towards her own room. He wondered why at times she even put up with how he was yet he was grateful to have her in his life. 

This was not the first time she had given him plenty to think about, nor would it be the last. Making sure the letter was still tucked in his pocket, Elladan did as she had suggested and headed towards his own room. He stopped at his door and looked down the hall. He could see Elrohir’s door from where he stood.He knew his twin was in his own room and he was tempted to go and check in on him. 

Pushing his door open, he let out a deep breath as he stepped into his room.It had only been his room for the last few years. It had belonged to his father before he had sailed. It had not been easy to take this room as his own. The memories of his family were still fresh in his mind. It had been Glorfindel and Elrohir who had helped him to adjust. 

As he looked around now, he saw the tiny differences.As his father, Elladan had some books on healing that were sitting neatly in an old bookshelf.He added a few of his own things over the years, his old weapons he once trained with were now on display with some hanging on the walls.Different items he had been given or found from the days when he and Elrohir would travel to other realms. 

Everywhere he looked now was a memory of someone he had lost or was about to lose. His mother had been the first to sail, though there had been no other choice. Arwen left them to live in Gondor with Aragorn. It was not long after that that their father sailed as well and now Elrohir had made his choice and was also choosing to leave Imladris. 

Seeing that he still held the unopened letter in his hand, Elladan let it drop to the floor. He did not know how much time he spent just staring down at the letter. He started to reach down to pick it up then stopped himself. 

“No!” He growled, kicking the letter away from him. He reached up and undid the braids in his hair. He had been about to pull his tunic offwhen he glanced back towards his door then turned and walked out of his room 

He stopped just in front of Elrohir’s door. Shaking his head, Elladan turned the handle and made his way inside. He watched as his twin got up quickly and came over to greet him. 

“The letter?” Elrohir asked quietly as he watched Elladan closely. 

“I have not read it yet,” Elladan told him honestly. “I am not sure I even will.” 

“Elladan…” The younger of the two started to say more but was stopped as Elladan held his hand up. 

“I may have been stubborn these last few weeks,” Elladan began, “however, I was not the only one. You did not make too much of an effort to speak with me either.” 

“I tried,” Elrohir told him. “And each time I was told to give you time.” 

“Then tell me now,” Elladan hissed as he suddenly stood face to face with his twin. “Tell me why you would choose to die?” he growled. “Or perhaps I should ask why you would expect me to watch it happen?” 

“It is hard to explain why, Elladan, I just know it was the right choice for me to make,” Elrohir told him, taking a step back. “I would see how well you fit in with other elves. How easily you adapted to things here Imladris. Even when we were younger, you never wanted to leave here unless it was to another elven realm,” Elrohir took a deep breath before he could continue. “I've always enjoyed our home, Elladan but it has never felt like I belonged here. I only started to feel like I belonged somewhere when I began to visit Arwen in Gondor. I was able to be myself there.”

“What do you think father would say?” Elladan asked him. “Have you even thought of how our parents will feel about losing two of their children?” 

“He knew!” Elrohir shouted. “He has always known. Why do you think he left you in charge of this realm? He knew more than he ever told us. Perhaps he wanted us to finds things out for ourselves, or maybe he hoped things would change.” 

“He left you in charge of protecting it,” Elladan pointed out, not wanting to admit his twin could be right.

“No, Elladan, he did not,” the younger twin told him. “He left both me and Glorfindel in charge of keeping our home safe. He did not name anyone to help you run this place,” he said. “He knew I would leave one day.” 

“No!” Elladan growled, shaking his head in what Elrohir could only see as denial. “He would have told me.” 

“Would he? “ Elrohir challenged. “He always told us that our choice was our own to make, Elladan. That no one could choose for us. Nor could we choose for each other.” 

“I would never have chosen for you,” Elladan sighed, trying to calm himself once more. 

“Perhaps not knowingly,” Elrohir replied softly. “You would have wished me to make the same choice you made,” he said. “It is what you already expected me to, what everyone expected me to do.” 

“You made your choice to prove everyone wrong?” Elladan asked. 

“No, Elladan.” He shook his head. “I always knew what path I wished to follow, I never had the heart to tell you and even now, I am not sure which words to use to explain it to you.” Elrohir lowered his head briefly and took another deep breath. “You chose to be an elf because you knew it is who you were. That is not who I am. Like Arwen, I am following my heart. Not for love, I just need to be true to who I feel I am.” 

Elladan silently watched his twin as Elrohir leaned back against the wall behind him and ran his hands through his hair, a trait they both picked up from their father when something bothered them. 

“You still plan to leave,” Elladan said.

“I have to,” Elrohir replied so quietly at first that he was not sure that his twin had even heard him. Looking up and seeing the hurt in Elladan’s, he knew that Elladan had heard. 

“Why?”Elladan asked, placing his hand on Elrohir’s shoulder as he waited for a reply.He tilted his head as it looked as if Elrohir was about to speak but instead, his twin merely shrugged and looked away.It was more than Elladan could take. 

“Elladan,” he heard his twin call after him as he walked out of Elrohir’s room. He never looked back as he made his back to his own chamber, not even when he heard Elrohir plead with him to return.

~ * ~ 

“Get up.” Glorfindel growled as he gripped Elladan’s shoulder and shook him hard. “This realm has gone without its leader for too long now.” 

“What good am I as a leader of this realm, Glorfindel?” he asked, “if I cannot even make my own twin stay.” 

“That was not your choice to make,” Glorfindel replied, sitting on the edge of Elladan’s bed. It was something he had not done since the twins had been young and one, or even both, had a nightmare. “No one could have made him stay, his mind was made up.” 

Taking a deep breath, Elladan sat up slowly and leaned against the wall behind him, the sheet of his bed covering him from the waist down. 

“I watched him leave that night,” Elladan said, motioning to his balcony doors. “He raced his horse away from the manor and never once looked back. That was months ago and I assumed he would have returned by now.” 

“Did you think that your words had not hurt him?” Glorfindel asked. “That he was not affected by the pain and hurt he saw in your eyes that night? “ He took a deep breath as he stood up and moved to the balcony doors. Pushing them open, he let the sun’s light finally fill the room, something he was sure that had not happened in days. 

“I am sorry,” Elladan admitted, “I knew he planned to leave but I feel my words to him may have pushed him to leave sooner than planned.” 

“I followed him to the stables,” Glorfindel said. “He was upset but not over your words to him. He knew the pain he was causing you and felt that leaving was the better option.” Turning to face Elladan once more, he continued. “I tried, Elladan, to convince him to stay, to fix this between you first but he insisted it was better this way. I am the one who’s sorry that I could not stop him for you.” 

Before Glorfindel could say more, he found himself pulling Elladan into a tight embrace. It was not the Lord of Imladris that he held but the young elf who Glorfindel had watched grow from an elfling to the elf he was now. 

“It is still early,” Glorfindel said once he had felt Elladan stop shaking against him. “You have time to bathe and dress and we’ll join the others for the morning meal.” 

“Will you wait here for me?” Elladan asked quietly. He hated that even his voice sounded weak but as he looked up at Glorfindel, he saw no signs that his old friend saw him as weak. 

“I will always wait for you,” Glorfindel replied, grinning at Elladan. “Always.”

Elladan tilted his head in wonder. There was something about the way Glorfindel had spoken his reply that made Elladan wonder if there was more to it. This had not been the first time Elladan ever heard these words from Glorfindel. They had been said often when the twins were younger. Glorfindel has looked directly at Elladan each time and Elladan used to tell himself that the words had been meant for him only. 

When the older elf said nothing else, Elladan nodded silently before he turned to get ready. Within seconds of stepping away from Glorfindel, Elladan felt lost without the feel of Glorfindel’s arms around him. This left him more than just a little confused as he headed into his bathing room. 

“Ready?’ Glorfindel asked after Elladan had come out of his room dressed, his hair braided in a way he had not done since his hunting days with Elrohir. It was a look that Glorfindel felt always suited him. 

“No,” Elladan replied, though he took Glorfindel’s offered arm anyway and left the room with him. 

To Elladan’s relief, as they entered the great hall, no one seemed upset to see him. In fact he was greeted with friendly smiles as he made his way to his seat at the head of the table.If he were to be honest with himself, he would admit that it felt good to be out of his chamber and seated once more among friends. 

He felt Glorfindel’s hand on his shoulder in support and Elladan realized he had been staring at the empty seat that had once been Elrohir's.Looking around at the others, he saw that no one, other than Glorfindel, had seemed to notice. If they had, they were not showing it and for that he was grateful. 

“Was that so bad? Being among friends again?” A soft voice from behind him asked once the morning meal had ended.

“I owe you an apology,” Elladan replied as he turned to face Sirwen. “I know you came to see me and I am sorry that I refused to speak with you.” 

Sirwen smiled as she stepped closer and watched as Elladan took her hand, holding it gently in his own.She had been hurt by his refusal to speak with her but she understood his need to be alone.

“It no longer matters,” she replied softly. "You are here now.”

Elladan shook his head as he stepped even closer, sliding his free arm around her waist to hold her closer to him. He watched as she tilted her head up towards him. 

“I will make it up to you,” he told her. “Any way you wish.” 

Sirwen giggled softly as she reached up and ran her finger slowly along his jaw. A small shiver moved though her when Elladan had turned his head just enough to kiss the tip of her finger. 

“Any way I wish?” she repeated, smiling as he nodded in reply. “Now that, Elladan, is a very dangerous offer.” 

“I ask only that you go easy on me,” Elladan replied. “At least for now,” he added, whispering the last part in her ear. 

“We shall see,” she replied, though she had not been able to hold back a shiver as Elladan had whispered in her ear.He always had this effect on her and she wondered if he always would. 

“Would you join me for a walk?’ Elladan asked her, stepping back as he offered her his arm. 

Sirwen felt as if they were being watched as she took Elladan’s arm. She had nodded in reply and as they were about to leave the main hall, she turned to look over her shoulder.Her eyes met with Glorfindel’s and she saw the envy in his.She managed a small smile in return to the friendly one he had given her then turned her attention back on Elladan. 

~ * ~ 

“He went to Gondor,” Elladan said after they had been sitting at the edge of the lake for a while. 

“Are you sure?” she asked, resting her head on his shoulder. 

“Arwen is there with Aragorn,” he nodded “Legolas is not far away, either.. He’ll go to them.” 

Sirwen lifted her head and watched him. Even though he was not looking directly at her, she could still see his sadness. He looked as tired as she could only guess he felt.Without a word, she reached up and tucked some loose strands of his hair back behind his ear. 

“You will see him again,” she told him softly. “You have to believe that.” 

“When, Sirwen?” he asked, his head turning slowly to face her. “When Arwen dies? Or perhaps it will be when he is on his own deathbed...” he added, almost growling at the thought of facing his twin after he had aged. 

“You know I do not have the answers,” she replied, pulling her hand back from his face. “I wish I did so I could ease your pain.” 

Running a hand through his hair, Elladan let out a deep breath. He closed his eyes for a few short minutes before he turned to face her once more.

“It seems I must once again apologize, Sirwen,” he said. “I did not mean to snap at you.” 

“I know,” she replied then smiled sweetly. “You will have just one more thing to make up for.” 

“I fear that may end up being quite a long list,” he said, kissing her hand softly. 

“Then perhaps you should start now,” she said, and before Elladan could even ask how, Sirwen had pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss. 

“You tempt me,” Elladan moaned after the kiss. He lowered her slowly down onto the grass and leaned gently over her. “But you know that.” 

“I count on it,” she purred in reply then laughed when Elladan’s hand had moved to her ribs, finding a sensitive spot and tickled her. “Enough,” she said breathlessly. 

“You have put up with much from me over the years, Sirwen.” Elladan smiled at her as he ran his hand through her hair slowly. “Why?” 

“It is not yet obvious?” Sirwen smiled up at him “What started as a mild crush when we were younger grew into so much more,” she told him. “It is your fault really; you made me fall in love with you.” 

“And just how did I do that?” he asked, kissing along her neck teasingly.

“By being yourself,” she added, purring as she tilted her head back for him, gasping his name softly. “I always knew that I loved you. I realized how much the night my parents sailed.” 

Elladan smiled as he nodded in reply, remembering that night as well.He had followed as she walked with her parents then watched as she stood silently as both her mother and father had continued down the path without her. 

“I remember waving,” she told him. “Then I was waking up in your room.” 

Elladan lowered his head and kissed her tenderly before he made himself comfortable on the grass with her. He enjoyed how it felt as she turned towards him and rested her head against his chest. 

“You fainted,” he replied, “I saw your head drop and had just enough time to reach you before you fell. I carried you back to the manor and let you rest in my room.” 

She giggled softly as she lifted her head to look at him, unable to resist sliding her hand slowly across his chest. 

“You were asleep in the chair when I woke up,” she said. “Glorfindel was there to bring dinner and told me you never left my side. I knew then how much I loved you. I love you even more now, yet you never told me why you followed us that day. I remember telling you not to.” 

“You forget, my sweet, I had said goodbye to my mother a few weeks before your parents left. I know how overwhelming it could be. You were going to watch as both of your parents left at the same time,” he lifted her hand and kissed it tenderly. “I did not make it back to the manor before I had collapsed against Glorfindel.” 

Sirwen smiled sweetly at him then leaned closer and kissed him lovingly, enjoying hearing the way he moaned into the kiss.

“Glorfindel has always been there for both you and your brother,” Sirwen said, hoping she managed to keep him from seeing her jealousy. She admired Glorfindel as many others did and respected the older elf. She just could not shake the feeling that given the chance, Glorfindel would have Elladan at his side, in every way possible. 

“Since even before we were born,” Elladan nodded. “We have never known a life without having Glorfindel be part of it.” 

Sirwen smiled at his reply then rested her head down on his chest once more. She felt his hand cover hers before he held it gently in his, lifted it gently and kissed it. 

“We should get back,” Elladan said finally. “I have ignored my duties long enough.”

“I can help if you need it,” she told him as they slowly got to their feet. “Or have you forgotten that I sometimes helped Erestor?” 

Elladan chuckled lightly. In truth, he had forgotten this. It had been many years since he had thought of Erestor as his father’s chief adviser instead of the family's good friend. 

“I would appreciate any help you can spare me,” Elladan replied. “Perhaps if we are finished early enough, we can enjoy an evening ride,” he added. “It has been a while since we rode out to the secluded falls.” 

“Well then,” she smiled. “We had better get to work.” 

Elladan chuckled again as he took her hand and led her back towards the manor. He was not surprised to see Glorfindel waiting at the top of the steps. 

“All is well?” Glorfindel asked, though he could see how relaxed Elladan appeared, a welcomed change from his early mood. 

“It is,” Elladan replied as he came to a stop just in front of the golden haired elf. 

Sirwen said nothing as she looked from Elladan to Glorfindel. She had no doubt now that Glorfindel had feelings for him. What worried her was that she had the feeling that Elladan returned those feelings, though perhaps he was not yet aware of them. 

She stopped as she had been about to pass Glorfindel and both had turned to face the other. For a brief moment neither of them spoke nor did they move.

“Why do you not fight for him?” she asked, curiously. She knew it would be a fight she could not win, however she would not give up easily either. She quickly looked to where Elladan was and Faeron with him. The two seemed to discussing things and neither one were paying attention to her, or Glorfindel. 

It had not been a question that Glorfindel had expected her to ask, though he should not have been surprised. She always seemed to be able to notice things that no one else could. 

“It is not yet time to travel that path,” he replied, glancing towards Elladan. He gave the younger elf, what he hoped, was a reassuring grin. Elladan tilted his head just a little before his attention seemed to return to Faeron.

”Paths and destiny,” Sirwen sighed, shaking her head. “You sound like Elrond or Erestor,” she added. “Would it be so hard to do something just because it is what you want?” 

  


“What I want,” Glorfindel paused as he let out a deep breath, “is not something I can give him at this time. He waits for you, Sirwen, go to him. Give him the comfort he needs.” 

“Glorfindel I meant no...”Sirwen started to apologize when she saw the loneliness in the older elf's eyes. 

“I know,” Glorfindel replied. “My destiny is whatever it will be,” he said, giving her the same charming smile he always did. “For the moment, yours is with Elladan. If being with you is what it takes for him to once again be happy, then I would not stand in the way.” 

Sirwen glanced over at Elladan and could not help but shiver at the smile he gave her. He was no longer speaking Faeron and stood leaning against the wall, waiting. She had the feeling he would always be there waiting for her.

“Now go,” Glorfindel said, gently pushing her towards Elladan. “Even he only has so much patience.” 

She looked over her shoulder to say something but Glorfindel was already gone. She felt Elladan take her hand and she closed her eyes briefly before she turned her head to face him. 

“Was there a problem?” Elladan asked, kissed her hand softly as they walked slowly down the hall. 

“No,” She replied. “I merely wanted to ask Glorfindel a question.” 

“I can assume he gave you the answer you had wished for?” Elladan questioned. He was curious to know what they had talked about but he would not push her to tell him. 

“More or less,” she replied then giggled at the questioning look he gave her. “You know how Glorfindel is,” she teased. “He answers one question only to leave you with more.” 

“And what question did he leave you with?” Elladan asked. They had stopped in front of his chamber doors. He turned them so her back was against the door and he was standing in front of her, one hand on either side of her head. “Perhaps I can help answer these questions for you.” 

“You, my lord, can respond to more than just my questions,” she replied, trying to control her breathing. Having him this close had always affected her and she was sure it always would. 

“You have other needs then?” Elladan questioned, lowing his head just enough to start kissing along her neck. 

“Yes,” was the only reply she could give. Elladan had kissed his way to her ear and as she felt the kiss against the tip of her ear, her legs almost gave out from under her. 

Elladan had reached to open his door then caught Sirwen as she fell back. Keeping one arm around her back, he leaned down and lifted her easily into his arms, using the back of his foot to kick his door closed. 

“Then allow me to take care of these needs of yours,” he whispered into her ear as he carried her to his bed. 

“It would be an honor, my lord,” she whispered softly in reply. 

Elladan needed this more than he had first realized. Hearing her soft whispers and laughter seemed to be healing him, something he had begun to think was impossible. He could almost feel the tension leaving him with each touch from Sirwen.With each touch he felt, he also craved more. Judging by her soft moans and encouraging whispers, Sirwen was feeling the same effects. 

Needing the comfort of her touch and wishing to make their shared pleasure last, Elladan took his time, caressing every inch of her body as she did the same to his. It was only when he knew she could no longer wait and even then, he waited until she begged him for more. Her soft whispers had turned into cries of pleasure. The sound echoed around them, even his own cries of pleasure could be heard as they both had been taken past their limits. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Tolkien owns then and I only play with them  
> Title: Making Choices  
> Author: Jade  
> Fandom: Tolkien  
> Artist: Rhapsody  
> Link to art if applicable: http://rhapsodybrd.deviantart.com/gallery/35478978  
> Characters: Elladan/OFC, Elladan/Glorfindel  
> Rating: R/NC-17  
> Warning: slash. Het, Angst, Character death.  
> Beta: Jaiden_s  
> Summary: The twins have chosen differently and Elladan is not sure he can accept this as well as having to deal with everything else.
> 
> A/N:Thank you Rhapsody for the very lovely artwork! Also I've added the link at the end of chapter three to anyway wishing to read more of Elladan and Elrohir's final meeting.

 

Another season had passed with the turning the weather warmer in the valley. Elladan sat quietly in his study, looking towards his window. The papers on his desk were, for the moment, forgotten.

 

“I always seem to find you deep in thought,” Sirwen's voice whispered softly in Elladan's ear.

 

“I would share them if you wish to know,” Elladan replied, sitting back in his seat and easing her onto his lap. “You need only ask.”

 

He watched as he she shook her head then closed his eyes as her hand moved slowly through his hair. It was something that always seemed to soothe and relax him. He found it mildly amusing that he often did the very same action when he was stressed or aggravated. Perhaps it was not so much the action that soothed him now but who was doing it.

 

“There has been some talk,” Sirwen told him softly, continue to comb her fingers through his hair.

 

“Of what?” he questioned, his eyes still closed.

 

“Of us,” she told him, giving him a loving smile when he opened his eyes to look at her. “Nothing bad, I assure you,” she was quick to point out. “I have heard some speak of how you have changed and that is because we have become a couple.”

 

Elladan could not help but smile in return and he slipped both arms around her waist as she snuggled into him.

 

“We've been together for years, Sirwen,” he said.

 

“Not as we are now.” Sirwen added, “we've always been good friends and have always openly flirted with each other. Even I can feel something different in our relationship, something more than what we had before, something better.”

 

Elladan leaned his head back against the chair as he watched her. He knew what she was saying was true.  He had been feeling it as well. Reaching over slowly, Elladan gently trailed the tips of his fingers along her jaw. He leaned his head closer and kissed her lovingly.

 

“Perhaps it is time we made it official,” he said. “Let the entire realm know who it is that has captured my heart.”

 

“We need not do anything you are not ready for,” Sirwen replied. “I care not if the entire realm knows. It matters only that we know.”

 

Elladan chuckled softly then kissed her again, letting it deepen slowly until he heard her moan into the kiss. He ignored the urge to take things further, at least for now. The thought of letting the realm know that he had chosen Sirwen pleased him and he told her this.

 

“If you are sure,” she whispered softly. She gave another soft moan as he kissed her neck and closed her eyes when she felt him mark her. It was not the first time he had left his mark, only now, it was not some place where it would be kept hidden.

 

“Mine,” he growled playfully into her ear then looked towards his door when he heard the amused chuckle.

 

“I truly hate to interrupt,” Glorfindel grinned, “however, I have been, unwillingly, volunteered to come with a request from the young trainee’s. They wish to show you some of what they have learned.”

 

“Unwillingly volunteered?”  Elladan questioned.

 

“Aye,” Glorfindel nodded. “They seem to assume that should you have refused, I may have carried you there over my shoulder.”

 

“And just why would they assume such a thing?” Elladan wondered as he arched an eyebrow. He was not falling for that innocent look Glorfindel now had.

 

“I assure you, I have no idea,” Glorfindel replied. He crossed his arms over his chest as he narrowed his eyes at the oldest of Elrond's twins. “Do you plan to come willingly?”

 

Elladan could not help but laugh. There was no doubt in his mind now that Glorfindel had promised the young elves that he would get Elladan there one way or the other.

 

“You leave me little choice,” Elladan replied. He turned Sirwen's head towards him once they stood up and kissed her deeply. “I will see you shortly.”

 

Glorfindel moved aside so that Elladan could pass. He waited until he was sure the other elf was out of hearing range.

 

“Thank you, Sirwen,” he said quietly.

 

“There is no need to thank me for anything,” she replied, not sure why he felt he needed to thank her.

 

“Yes there is,” Glorfindel said. “It is because of you that he is his old self. It is good to see him smile again, to hear him laugh. You've brought him back to us.”

 

“This cannot be easy for you,” Sirwen said softly.

 

“It's not, but all I ask is that you keep him happy,” Glorfindel told her. “Tell me Sirwen, has he had more nightmares?”

 

Sirwen nodded quietly and she heard Glorfindel let out a deep breath. She knew then that Elladan's nightmares had concerned him as much as they did her.

 

“I had hoped those would have stopped by now,” Glorfindel told her. “Are they still of Elrohir?”

 

“Yes,” she nodded. “Though I cannot be sure if the dream is the same but he calls out for his twin each night.”

 

“He will need to face his twin's choice soon,” Glorfindel said, talking more to himself than he was to Sirwen. “When he does, he will need you more than ever.”

 

“He will need us both,” Sirwen said.

 

Glorfindel turned to face her, about to say more but merely nodded in agreement. He watched her leave, then left Elladan's study to join Elladan on the practice field. Along the way, he thought of Sirwen's last comment. He knew he would do anything for Elladan yet it was getting harder to see the two of them together. If Elladan came to him for comfort, would he be able to resist, or would he give in to the one thing Glorfindel wanted the most?

 

* ~ * ~ *

 

“A feast, my lord!” The young elf, Faeron suddenly rushed over to Elladan's desk.

 

“Stop calling me that. We’ve been friends for far too long and what is this about a feast?” Elladan questioned.

 

“I will not, my Lord,” he grinned. “You mentioned earlier that Imladris needed something to lighten everyone's mood. I recall your father would plan a feast when things had felt a little tense.”

 

“I believe this is a fine idea,” Elladan replied. “Make the arrangements.”

 

“And would it not be the perfect time to make an announcement?” Faeron said. “Of course it is rather obvious but this would make it more official.”

 

“Make what official?” Elladan asked, arching an eyebrow slightly.

 

“Your relationship with Sirwen,” Faeron replied.

 

Elladan opened his mouth to say something but the knowing look that Faeron gave made him change his mind. He knew, of course, that the other elf was right. It was time and in fact should have been done already.

 

“As I said,” Elladan replied, “make the arrangements.”

 

“Yes, my lord,” Faeron nodded, grinning when he heard Elladan growl as he rushed out of the room. He had arrangements to make and did not wish to waste any time getting them done.

 

Elladan grinned as Faeron had literally rushed out of his study. They had been friends almost since birth.  The twins were only weeks older than Faeron was and as their mothers had been close, the three had grown up together. He also remembered a time when the twins had tried to get Faeron together with Arwen.

 

With a deep sigh, Elladan wondered how different their lives may now be had the twins plans had worked. If Arwen had chosen Faeron would she still have chosen to live as a mortal? Would Elrohir? 

 

He was once again left wondering if his twin had not chosen this path just to protect Arwen, to watch over her as they had promised their father they would. In his heart, Elladan knew it was more than that. His twin would not have given up life as an elf just to watch over Arwen. That would have been something they could have done together.

 

“Enough,” Sirwen's soft voice whispered in his ear. “You cannot change his choice.”

 

Elladan let out a deep breath then turned his head and gave her a small smile. He moved back as she walked slowly around to stand in front of him.

 

“You always have that same faraway look when you are thinking about Elrohir,” she told him. “I know how hard it is for you to accept the choice he made.”

 

“It is not about accepting his choice,” Elladan replied. She was the only one he felt comfortable enough with to discuss Elrohir. “I just wish to understand why he made his choice.”

 

“He will come to you when he is ready,” she replied, slowly combing her fingers through his hair knowing it would relax him. “He always does.”

 

“In the past,” Elladan said. “I am not so sure he will now. If he felt he could come to me he would not have left.”

 

Sirwen sighed softly as she tilted Elladan's head back and kissed him softly. She still felt he was holding a lot of his feelings back, but for now she knew there was little she could do other than to give him comfort when it was needed.

 

“Now, what is this feast I have heard of?” she asked, knowing a change of subject was needed. “Faeron is far more excited than usual.”

 

As he looked up at her from where he sat, the smile she gave him let him know that she was not going to let him continue with any depressing thoughts. It was one of the many things he loved about her.

 

“Would you not wish to be surprised?” Elladan asked her, knowing that was not going to work

 

“No,” she replied, shaking her head. “Now will you tell me or do I have to use other ways to make you talk.”

 

Elladan could not help but grin at her as he considered his options. He pulled her down into his lap and kissed her deeply.

 

“Faeron believes that a feast is what the realm needs,” he finally told her. “He also feels it would be a good time to announce our relationship.”

 

“I knew I liked him,” she replied, smiling softly.

 

Elladan chuckled and nodded in agreement. He leaned back on his seat, one of his hands rested gently on her leg as the other hand caressed her back.

 

“It is a big step,” he said “and one we should have already taken. However it is my fault for being distracted with things beyond my control, for that I do apologize.”

 

“There is no need,” she assured him. “I know where I stand with you, where we stand with each other and I care not if the entire realm knows it or not,” she added. “Of course if you wish to shout it to everyone we pass, I am fine with that as well.”

 

Elladan could not help but laugh at her reply. Reaching out, he tucked some of her hair back behind her ear.

 

“Come, you need a break and it is almost time for the midday meal,” Sirwen said. “We have time to enjoy some fresh air before we are expected in the dining hall.”

 

Elladan waited until she stood up then did the same as he kissed her hand softly. She always seemed to know exactly what he needed and when he needed it. It reminded him of how his own mother had been with his father.

 

A few days passed and each time Elladan saw Faeron, the younger elf was busy planning the feast. Only a few times had Faeron come to Elladan to get his opinion of something or to find out what some of Sirwen's favorite foods were.

 

“Sit down, Faeron,” Elladan had finally stopped the elf. “Take a few minutes. You have done plenty in such a short time, and you have earned a break.”

 

“I am almost done. There are but a few minor details left to take care of my...” he started to say until Elladan growled at him

 

“You of all others do not have to call me that,” Elladan hissed. “We have been friends our whole lives, camped many night together. We’ve seen the same wars and fought at each other’s side.” Elladan said. “Drop the formalities, Faeron. You know what my name is.”

 

“I do,” Faeron replied, finally taking a seat across from Elladan. “However, it would not be proper.”

 

“Proper?” Elladan laughed. “When have you ever cared about what is proper? I can recall a time, after a few bottles of my father's strongest whiskey mysteriously vanished, where you walked across the main yards completely naked, greeted everyone you passed and even invited my sister to dinner.” Elladan grinned. “In front of my father, no less.”

 

“I still only vaguely remember that day,” Faeron chuckled. “And I have not touched your father's whiskey since” he added.

 

“I believe Erestor helped him to find a better hiding place for his whiskey,” Elladan chuckled.

 

“I cannot imagine why,” Faeron added, making them both laugh.

 

“Since you seem to have everything under control for the feast,” Elladan said, “perhaps you would be so kind as to let me know when it is?”

 

“A week from tomorrow,” Faeron replied, leaning back in the seat. “Everything is taken care of and the decorations should be set up within the next few days,” he added. “There are to be some of your favorite foods as well as Sirwen's along with plenty of food to satisfy everyone's tastes.”

 

Elladan felt himself relax now that he knew everything seemed to be in order. Faeron was more than able to handle things which meant that Elladan could stop worrying about things and just focus on enjoying the feast.

 

“It would seem you have thought of everything,” Elladan told him, “and are managing better than I could have.”

 

Faeron grinned at Elladan then leaned closer, motioning for Elladan to do the same.

 

“That may be why it is my job,” Faeron whispered quietly then grinned as Elladan laughed.

 

The two of them talked for a while longer, discussing the last few minor details that Faeron wanted to see done over the next few days. He assured Elladan had nothing to worry about and all would be taken care of before the day of the feast.

 

* ~ * ~ *

 

Elladan should have known better than to let his guard down, to allow himself to become too relaxed. There were just a few days left until the feast, and Faeron had once again assured him that everything was in order. Elladan had started to feel better about things. Then the attack came and once again, Elladan's life was filled with chaos.

 

“The orcs came out of nowhere,” Glorfindel told Elladan. The older elf was leaning against the wall as one of the healing assistants was looking at the cut on Glorfindel's arm. “We had no idea they were there until they attacked.”

 

Elladan shook his head and ran his hands through his hair as he paced back and forth. He should have seen this coming, should have known things had been going too well.

 

“Elladan.” Glorfindel tried to get his attention.

 

“Why now?” Elladan hissed, stopping to face Glorfindel. “Why are there even orcs left?”

 

“We always knew there were some remaining,” Glorfindel said,” though not many. Few did survive and went into hiding.” He could see how stressed Elladan was. Once the healer had left them alone, Glorfindel reached out and placed his hand on Elladan's shoulder.

 

“What was the reason for them to attack?” Elladan asked quietly. Glorfindel's touch was more soothing then Elladan wanted to admit, even to himself.

 

“It could be anything,” Glorfindel said, leaving his hand where it was. “Perhaps they were desperate. We had supplies they may have wanted or needed. It did not seem as if this was an attack on Imladris, they were too few in number.”

 

“Yet their number was large enough to leave you wounded and two others dead?” Elladan snapped.

 

“You don't think the amount of my guilt is enough that you feel you must add to it?” Glorfindel growled. “I was there, I watched them die. They were my friends too, Elladan,” he hissed. “I trained them the same time I trained you and your twin.”

 

Elladan watched as it was Glorfindel who started pacing. He felt the other elf's anger and frustration and his own outburst had not helped.

 

“After this, maybe it is best if the feast was canceled,” Elladan said quietly. He was not prepared for the glare he now got from Glorfindel.

 

“Do not even think about it,” Glorfindel warned. “We were on patrol for a week and all I heard was talk of this feast. We've not had one in quite some time and I dare say the entire realm is looking forward to it.”

 

“We just lost two of our own,” Elladan said “It would not be right...”

 

Glorfindel shook his head as he took a step closer and stood directly in front of Elladan. He was fighting the urge to reach over and pull Elladan into a tight embrace, but instead he placed his hands behind his back and gripped his own wrist tightly.

 

“Elladan, Imladris needs this, needs something to once again look forward to,” Glorfindel said. “There are too few of us left and we all felt the loss when your father left and again when your twin made his choice to leave.”

 

“None more than me,” Elladan replied, though it had been mostly said to himself. Looking now and seeing the sadness in the other elf's eyes, Elladan knew that Glorfindel had heard him.

 

“Your father had been planning a feast for your mother when she informed him of her choice to sail,” Glorfindel told him. He reached over and turned Elladan's head back towards him when the younger elf had looked away. “Two days after he watched that ship take his wife away, he had that feast anyway. Erestor was convinced that it was still a good idea. He was right.”

 

Elladan started to say something but the sudden feel of Glorfindel's hand moving from his shoulder and caressing along his neck, silenced him.

 

“Your father trusted him enough to take Erestor's advice and I can only hope you trust me enough to do the same,” Glorfindel said.

 

“I have always trusted you,” Elladan replied.

 

“Good, then have the feast,” he said. “Let the realm celebrate some good news. It is long overdue.” He paused when he still saw the doubt in Elladan's eyes “I've doubled the patrols along the borders, all traces of the orcs have been dealt with and I have had Faeron send out some scouts to make sure there are no more threats.”

 

“And what of the families, Glorfindel?” Elladan asked. “Am I supposed to offer my condolences and then invite them to come celebrate with me?”

 

“No, you offer your condolences, you tell them that their sons fought bravely and that you mourn the loss of two good friends. You let them see your grief and offer them any comfort that you can,” Glorfindel replied. “Whether they attend the feast is up to them. I would not be surprised to see them there.”

 

“It seems selfish,” Elladan admitted. “What right do I have to celebrate when they grieve for the ones they lost?”

 

“The choice is yours, Elladan.” Glorfindel said. His hand was still caressing along Elladan's neck, though he had not realized it at first. He had not failed to notice how Elladan leaned into his touch.

 

“I will trust your judgment,” Elladan finally replied. His eyes had closed when he felt Glorfindel's light touch. When he opened them again, he saw a look in the older elf's eyes that he did not quite recognize.

 

“We should go,” Glorfindel said, forcing himself to step back before he did something that he might regret.

 

“Your arm...” Elladan noted, glancing now towards the cut that was on Glorfindel's arm.

 

“I have felt and survived worse,” Glorfindel replied. “My arm is fine, though a little sore at the moment.”

 

Elladan heard his reply but he would not be so easily convinced and took a few moments to examine the wound himself, stopping only when he was satisfied.  Once done, he looked up in time to see the amused look that Glorfindel was giving him.

 

“I am allowed to be concerned,” Elladan replied, glancing away before he said anything else.

 

“Come,” Glorfindel said, letting the moment pass. “You should speak with the two families now. I will go with you.”

 

Elladan merely nodded, not wanting to admit that he was glad to have Glorfindel go with him to do this. Once again, he was reminded of how different he was from his father. Elrond always seemed to be able to handle whatever challenge he was met with. Elladan wondered if it would ever be the same for him. He knew he still had a lot to learn.

 

“I should have been there,” Elladan said as the made their way slowly from the healing rooms. “I could have...” he started to say but then merely shook his head

 

“It would have made no difference,” Glorfindel replied, “and I would not have put you at risk.”

 

Elladan stopped dead in his tracks and had turned to glare at the older elf. His fists were clenched at his side as he stood his full height, coming almost eye to eye with Glorfindel.

 

“How is my life any more important than theirs were?” he growled. “What does my destiny hold that I have more right to live than anyone else?”

 

“Whether you accept it or not, you are the lord of this realm,” Glorfindel replied. “We took the vow to protect both land and lord.”

 

“I know what vow must be given,” Elladan replied, close to shouting now. “I once took that same vow. I meant it as much then as I do now.” He said “I will not have anyone else taking a risk that I would not take myself.”

 

“Your father would never have...” Glorfindel said only to have Elladan hold up a hand to silence him.

 

“I am not my father,” Elladan pointed out. “I will run this realm as I see fit.” He quickly added, “I will be joining the next patrol.” His hand went up again when Glorfindel went to speak “I do not need your permission.”

 

Elladan turned and started down the hall. He had not failed to notice the elves that stood watching them. He stopped briefly and looked over his shoulder. He was not surprised to see Glorfindel right behind him.

 

“Take some time to cool off,” Elladan said suddenly. “I need to do this on my own.” Without another word, Elladan turned down another hallway and out of Glorfindel's sight.

 

“He will not be convinced to stay behind,” one of Glorfindel's captains said as he came up next to Glorfindel.

 

“I am aware of this fact,” Glorfindel replied. “How many divisions are on duty?”

 

“Three,” the elf replied. “Two are camped at the borders and Thalion's company is scouting the northern fields.”

 

“Gather the rest. I want every remaining member of all divisions on the training grounds within the hour,” Glorfindel commanded.

 

“My Lord?” The elf tilted his head, not sure what Glorfindel had in mind but seeing the rage in the older elf's eyes made him more than just a little nervous.

 

“Now!” Glorfindel snapped, not in the mood to have his orders questioned. If Elladan wanted to be foolish enough to go out on patrol then Glorfindel was going to make sure that everyone’s training was as sharp as ever, including Elladan`s.

~~

 

“If you feel the need to be angry at me then so be it,” Elladan hissed, his anger building as Glorfindel once again had managed to knock  Elladan's sword from his hands. “I will not change my mind.”

 

Glorfindel had planted the tip of his sword into the ground and stood beside it, his arm crossed over his chest. He glanced at the division briefly then looked back at Elladan.

 

“You are distracted and unfocused,” he said. “You've left your back open too many times and you know better,” he added “I may not change your mind but I will do whatever it takes to keep you alive. Look at them, Elladan. Every one of them would die to protect not only this realm but you as well. If you insist on going on patrol then you must all learn to fight together.”

 

“I do not need a lesson,” Elladan said. He didn't back down when Glorfindel stepped closer, bringing them almost face to face.

 

“I told you once, I would not have you put at risk,” Glorfindel replied. “I am aware of your abilities to fight Elladan, however, they are not,” he said, pointing at some of the younger elves that were watching. “They need to see. I would have them trust your abilities as much as I do.”

 

“I am not finished, ”Glorfindel said when Elladan opened his mouth to speak. “We have only six divisions left compared to the dozens we had when you first began your training. Most of them have not seen the wars we have, nor have many of them even had to fight until recently. You need to trust me.”

 

“I have always trusted you,” Elladan replied, standing his ground. “Even when you are being a pig headed, overprotective twit.”

 

Glorfindel arched an eyebrow slightly and glanced towards the younger elves in the division when he heard some of them chuckle.

 

“Twit?” Glorfindel repeated, barely holding back his own grin when he saw that amused look in Elladan's eyes.

 

“Would you have preferred blockhead?” Elladan grinned, hearing even more laughter from the elves around them. “Or what was it that Erestor once called you?” Elladan asked. “I believe it was nitwit.”

 

Glorfindel lowered his head to hide his own grin. It was good to see this side of Elladan again and he knew the past few days had been hard on him. Glorfindel had not exactly helped the situation either and had been pushing Elladan and the others harder than ever.

 

“Glorfindel,” Elladan started, “the feast is in two days. Allow us some rest before the feast. We will resume this training after a week’s time.”

 

Glancing again at the others, Glorfindel could see the hopeful looks on the younger elves and he knew he'd been set up. Elladan, it seemed, had learned well from Erestor.

 

“Very well,” Glorfindel gave in. “One week.” he agreed. He dismissed those who were there for training then stood and watched as they all left the field slowly. He turned to see that Elladan was still there, watching him.

 

“You asked me to trust you and I do,” Elladan said. “Yet it feels as if you do not trust me. I understand why you do this but I need you to understand my reaction. My father is gone, both my sister and my own twin have chosen to live as mortals. I was thrown into being the lord of a realm, something I did not feel ready for. Going on patrol with the others is the only thing I have left that I can still control.”

 

Glorfindel knew no reply was needed. He watched Elladan pick up his sword and go, leaving Glorfindel once again alone with his own thoughts.

 

“You were more ready then you realized,” Glorfindel said, mostly to himself. With a deep sigh, he took hold of his own sword and also headed back toward the manor.

 

~ * ~ * ~

 

Elladan had to admit that Glorfindel had been right. The feast had been exactly what everyone had needed. As he looked around the great hall, he could see how relaxed everyone seemed to be.  The music had been lively and he had enjoyed a few dances with Sirwen.

 

He found himself looking often towards the dance area. Glorfindel moved Sirwen easily across the floor and he could hear her laugh at whatever Glorfindel may have said. He recalled other times when he watched Glorfindel moving just as gracefully. It had been each time Glorfindel had been out on the training grounds and teaching the younger elves. During the summer weather, he had often removed his tunic and Elladan had never been able to look away.  He'd spent many nights afterwards picturing a half naked Glorfindel.  It was still a favorite sight of his.

 

 

Elladan thoughts were interrupted when Faeron nudged his side. He felt the heat in his face as looked at Faeron. Elladan was not entirely sure he was blushing from being caught daydreaming. The vision of seeing Glorfindel without his tunic, apparently still had an effect on Elladan.

 

“I believe she much prefers your dance skills over mine,” Glorfindel said as he led Sirwen towards Elladan.

 

“Perhaps if you learned to dance,” Elladan said, earning a light chuckle form Glorfindel. “I do recall there being an offer once to teach you.”

 

“Your mother made that offer,” Glorfindel grinned as he reached down to take his glass of wine, placed there earlier before his dance with Sirwen. “However, at the time I had two very curious elflings to watch over while they explored places they had no business being in.”

 

“Elrohir was convinced that Erestor's closet had a secret passage to a dragon's lair,” Elladan whispered in Sirwen's ear. “He was half right, the passage lead to Erestor and Glorfindel's private office.”

 

Sirwen covered her mouth as she tried to keep from giggling. She glanced up towards Glorfindel who merely smirked, raised his glass towards her then walk away.

 

“You know he heard you,” she told Elladan softly. “One would think you are both elflings the way you tease each other at times,” she added.

 

Elladan laughed and nodded in agreement. He took her glass of wine from her and set it aside, wrapping her arm around his after having kissed her hand.

 

“One more dance?” he asked. “Then we'll sneak off to somewhere we can be alone.”

 

“One more,” Sirwen replied, looking forward to having him to herself. She looked up and smiled at him as he led her back to the center of the dance floor.

 

As, Elladan slid his arms around her, the music slowed. He chuckled at the timing then winked at her as Sirwen slowly slid her arms up around his neck.

 

“Everyone is watching again,” Sirwen whispered softly.

 

“Let them,” Elladan replied. “It will give them something to talk about.”

 

“Us dancing together?” She asked, giggling softly.

 

“No.” Elladan grinned wickedly “This will.”

 

Before Sirwen had a chance to ask him what he meant, Elladan kissed her. He slid one arm around her waist and pulled her closer against him. His free hand moved into her hair just as the kiss deepened even more. Neither one heard the applause around them until the kiss had ended.

 

“You are a wicked elf,” Sirwen told him once she caught her breath.

 

“Yes I am,” Elladan chuckled. “And you will find out just how wicked I can be later.”

 

Sirwen saw the flash of desire on his eyes and she not only shivered against him, but the heat in her cheeks let her know she was blushing as well. They had been intimate before, a few times but they had always kept such displays of affection private. It would take some getting used to on her part but she was pleased at no longer having to hide how they felt about each other.

 

“I look forward to it,” she replied, whispering in his ear. This time she felt him shiver against her and could not help but laugh.

 

As the music changed again, Elladan lead her back to where they had been sitting earlier. As he picked up his glass of wine, he looked around for Glorfindel but it appeared the older elf had already left the hall.

 

“Come,” Elladan grinned. “It is time to keep your promise to get me alone.”

 

Sirwen had taken the last sip of her wine and nearly choked as she heard his comment.

 

“I believe you said we would have some time alone,” she said, kissing his cheek softly. She rolled her eyes at the innocent look he gave her. “That look does not work with me.”

 

“Perhaps not,” Elladan said “but, I will find what does work with you.”

 

It only took them a few minutes to reach the gardens. The night's weather was still warm and there was a small breeze for them to enjoy.

 

“How is it we always end up here?” she asked quietly, smiling as Elladan led her over to one of the garden benches. Normally she would sit beside him, however this time she let him guide her down onto his lap.

 

“I am not sure,” Elladan replied. “Perhaps this is meant to be our own special place.” he added, tilting her head gently and kissing along her neck “A place for us to make our own memories.”

 

“Elladan,” she gasped softly as he continued to kiss along her neck. Closing her eyes, she let her head fall back. She whimpered quietly when she had felt him leaving his mark on her neck before he kissed his way to the tip of her ear.

 

“Perhaps we should go find someplace more private,” Elladan suggested as he nipped at the pointed tip of her ear.

 

“No,” she gasped softly, “right here.”

 

Elladan lifted his head to look at her and saw the look of desire in her eyes. He grinned as he kissed her, letting it deepen slowly.

 

“And you say I am wicked.” He moaned when the kiss ended, leaving them both breathless.

 

Sirwen's reply was a quiet giggle before she combed her fingers through his hair. She felt him shiver as her fingers grazed the tips of ears. The growl she heard when she repeated the action let her know she was getting the reaction she wanted from him. Daringly, she repeated it again. This time she did not just graze his ears but let her fingers slowly trail along the back of them before she felt along the pointed tips. 

 

“Wicked, she-elf,” Elladan growled as she played with his ears. How he was managing to sit still was beyond him. He shifted just enough to let her feel exactly how her touch was affecting him. Hearing her gasp as she glanced downwards, he grinned. “Here?”

 

“Yes,” Sirwen nodded, her hand slowly moving along his neck then across his shoulder. “Right here.” 

 

~ ~

 

“You look like you need this more than I do,” Faeron said, handing Glorfindel what looked to be a full glass of whiskey.

 

“From Elrond's supply?” Glorfindel questioned after having tasted the first sip.

 

“He left more than half of what he had.” Faeron nodded, “He assured me it would be needed and, as usual, he was right.”

 

Glorfindel managed a small grin then downed half the glass in one large sip, clearing his thought as he took a deep breath.

 

“You need more?” Faeron asked, after Glorfindel finished the whiskey in just two sips. When the older elf nodded in reply, Faeron took the glass.

 

“It looks to be a long night,” Glorfindel admitted as he stood up. “How hard would it be to convince you to send a few bottles to my chamber?”

 

Faeron almost snorted as he laughed. He looked at the empty glass he still held and shook his head. He had a feeling this was going to be a bad idea.

 

“I will bring them to you myself,” Faeron replied then turned and headed to where the bottles were hidden. Faeron knew Glorfindel was still watching him and turned to look over his shoulder. “I will not be long.”

 

Glorfindel nodded in reply then after the younger elf was no longer within sight, he leaned back and ran his hands through his hair. Finally after a few minutes, he left the dining room and headed to his own private rooms. He knew the promised whiskey would do nothing for his loneliness, yet he hoped it could make him forget, at least for a little while...

 

 

~ * ~ * ~ *

 

Elladan was pleased to see the first signs of spring finally arrive. The winter had seemed to have lasted longer than it usually had. Perhaps it was his restlessness that had made it feel that way. Midway through winter, Imladris had their winter festival. He had sent invitations to both Arwen and Elrohir, but neither had been able to attend.  For Arwen, he understood.  Aragorn was aging quickly now and he knew his sister did not wish to leave her husband's side.

 

Elrohir's reply had not said much about his reasons for not attending. He wished everyone well and hoped to visit soon. It was close in wording to his reply the year before and even the year before that. Elladan could only stare at the note, written in Elrohir's near perfect handwriting. It was the only recent item he had of his twin.

 

“There is time,” Sirwen said as she came to stand next to where he was seated. “You could write him another letter, explain how you wish to see him.”

 

“I could,” Elladan nodded, still looking over every carefully written word. “It does not seem as if he wishes to see me now, does it?”

 

“Elladan, if you would just try,” she whispered, knowing how stubborn both twins could be. If one of them were to just say something first, she felt it would at least be a start. It had been years since Elrohir left and Elladan still had not come to terms with his brother's choice.

 

“I invite him to every feast or festival we have,” Elladan replied. “His reply is always the same.”

 

“His reply is always as formal as the invite has been,” Sirwen pointed out. “Perhaps you should write him a personal letter, you may get the results you are hoping for,” she told him. “You will never know unless you try.”

 

Elladan did not give a reply and after a few minutes he heard her closing the door as she left. He let out a deep breath as he crumpled the paper in his hand. He knew she was right and that he was being stubborn yet it had been Elrohir that had left all those years ago. It was not up to Elladan to make the first move and he had already done that in a way. He did not have to send his twin any invitation, yet he always did.

 

Aragorn was also a concern for Elladan. It had been a mere three years since he had last seen Aragorn. Even then he had looked aged. His hair no longer held any color and Elladan had not failed to notice the tired look in Aragorn's eyes, or the worry in Arwen's.

 

Having seen Aragorn as aged as he now was, Elladan had wondered again what Elrohir looked like. Was he aging as well or was it different for him since was part elf?... or had been. He thought back to the time he had asked his father if had ever wanted to see his own twin.

 

_“It was enough to have read his journal,” Elrond had replied. “It allowed me to hear of his life yet still remember him as I had last seen him.” He then grinned down at his curious son. “Besides, I do not wish to know what I would look like as I aged.”_

 

Elladan had not been able to understand at the time, he had been too young. However, now he knew exactly what his father had meant. Not about seeing himself as an old man, but about remembering Elrohir as he had last seen him. His biggest regret was still the words they last spoke to each other. They had been harsh, from both sides and then Elrohir had left.

 

Hearing his door open, Elladan looked over slowly. He was not truly in the mood for company yet he could not help but smile as he saw Sirwen had returned and had brought some food with her.

 

“You are always more reasonable after you have eaten,” she said, placing the tray on his desk before she made herself comfortable in his lap.

 

“I suppose you would know,” Elladan replied. He let out a deep breath and for a few short moments, he rested his head against her shoulder. “I am sorry for earlier.”

 

“I know and I did not take it personally,” she assured him. “I know you miss him, as I am sure he misses you. If I could help I would, however, this is something the two of you must settle.”

 

“Once again, you are right,” he said, turning her head just enough so he could kiss her softly.

 

“It would be easier for you if you would just admit that I am always right,” she said, giggling.

 

Elladan took her hand and kissed the back of it before he reached for something to eat. The room was silent as they both ate only this time it was a comfortable silence. He knew Sirwen was finished when she leaned back against him. He chuckled lightly as he eased one arm around her waist. His free hand slid slowly up along her arm.

 

“Do you not have work to do?” Sirwen asked quietly, closing her eyes as she felt his fingers softly graze against the skin of her neck.

 

“It is nothing that cannot wait,” Elladan replied. He moved his fingers up to trail one across the edge of her ear. He felt her shiver against him. He used his hand to tilt her head, lowered his and kissed his way across her neck slowly. “I would prefer to work on you.”

 

Elladan arched an eyebrow slightly when Sirwen suddenly moved away from him. He watched silently as she moved across the room and then could not help but laugh when she locked the door to his office. He enjoyed seeing the desire in her eyes as she made her way back to him.

 

As she slid back onto his lap, he slid his arms around her waist again. He smiled as she tilted her head and he kissed along her neck again, one hand moving slowly up the front of her gown. He felt her arching into his touch before she turned her head and kissed him.

 

“Sirwen,” he moaned when he suddenly felt where she had moved her hand. He had never even felt her pulling at his laces to open his leggings. His breathing deepened when her hand moved inside his leggings. “On my desk is not how I wish to enjoy you.”

 

“That is not what you said the other day,” she giggled, kissing along his neck as he easily lifted her in his arms. She looked over briefly to see that he was carrying her closer to the fireplace. “However, I do approve of this choice,” she whispered into his ear.

 

Elladan smiled at her as he lowered her gently onto the pile of furs. They had learned early in their relationship that they both enjoyed sitting close to a warm fire and reading. The furs had been placed here for just that reason, though now they served an entirely different purpose.

 

“Where would I be without you?” Elladan spoke quietly as he lowered his head and kissed along her neck. Using his free hand, he was easily working her gown open then kissing along her skin as it was slowly exposed to him.

 

Sirwen had not answered him; there was no reason to. She knew exactly where he would be if she were not part of his life, and she refused to have such thoughts now, no matter how true they were. She knew Glorfindel had stepped aside for her and though she was grateful, she still had her doubts. She would discuss none of this with Elladan, not now or any time in the near future.

 

“Have me,” she gasped. He had teased her enough, using not only his touch but his lips as well. “Please.”

 

Elladan would not deny her, not when he wanted her as much as he knew she wanted him. He kissed her passionately as he moved over her. He felt her touch against his shoulders, her hands sliding gently across his skin as he moved into her. He lifted his head to watch her, seeing the pleasure in her eyes and hearing her gasp his name.

 

“You are mine,” Sirwen gasped, unable to stop the words. Whether he heard her or not, she did not know. She reached up into his hair and let her fingers graze his ears. The growl she heard come from him only excited her even more. She knew he was as close to his limit as she was to hers. When he suddenly marked her neck, the feeling mixed with the pleasure she felt of having him move with her and it took her over the edge.

 

Hearing the way she had cried out his name, Elladan's also reached his own limit. His own cries of pleasure were soon heard before he lowered his head and kissed her deeply.  Moving onto his side, he eased his arms around her, sighing quietly as she snuggled against him. Neither of them seemed to be in a hurry to move away from each other. Feeling her resting against him helped him to relax and for a while, he did not need to think of anything except them.

 

“What thoughts are running through your mind now?” she asked him softly, her hand gently caressing his chest.

 

“Only good ones,” he assured her. “I was thinking how good you feel against me like this,” he added, smiling when she giggled.

 

“Well then,” she smiled as she moved him onto his back, giggling as he pulled her on top of him. “I can allow you to enjoy these kinds of thoughts.”

 

Any reply Elladan wanted to give was cut short when she leaned down on kissed him deeply. He slid his hands slowly up over her and had pulled her down against him even more then gave her complete control.

 

It was early that next morning when the two of them left Elladan's office. Had anyone else been awake to notice them making their way back to their own private chambers, neither Elladan nor Sirwen noticed.

 

“Perhaps now we should sleep,” Sirwen whispered softly as she had moved into Elladan's arms. They had spent the entire night enjoying each other. “You have perfected ways to tire me.”

 

Elladan managed a small chuckle as he held her gently in his arms. He kissed the top of her head and after promising to use these ways often the two of them drifted into a peaceful sleep, something Elladan only managed when she slept beside him.

 

Things seemed to settle down for Elladan. The summer feast had been perfect. Once again Faeron had taken over to make sure things had gone as planned. For this, Elladan had been very grateful. Since then, his days had become routine and his evenings, after dinner, were spent with Sirwen.

 

“Since when do you wear such a formal dress just to enjoy a walk through the garden?” Elladan asked. He had entered their private chamber to find her standing in front of the mirror. Coming up behind her, he slid his arms around her and tilted his head to kiss her neck

 

“I merely wish to enjoy wearing this while it still fits,” Sirwen replied softly, watching his reaction in the mirror.

 

“And why would it no longer fit?” he asked, arching an eyebrow slightly.

 

Sirwen smiled and leaned back against him.  Placing her hand over his, she slowly slid his down over her stomach then let it rest there. She was still watching his reaction in the mirror, gigging softly as she waited for him to figure it out. It had not taken long.

 

“Are you sure?” Elladan asked, his eyes meeting her in the mirror before he turned her around.

 

“Yes,” she replied, smiling. She slid her arms up around his neck then laughed as he pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, kissing along her neck. She smiled at him as he had offered her his arm and led her to the gardens to enjoy their evening walk.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Tolkien owns then and I only play with them  
> Title: Making Choices  
> Author: Jade  
> Fandom: Tolkien  
> Artist: Rhapsody  
> Link to art if applicable: http://rhapsodybrd.deviantart.com/gallery/35478978  
> Characters: Elladan/OFC, Elladan/Glorfindel  
> Rating: R/NC-17  
> Warning: slash. Het, Angst, Character death.  
> Beta: Jaiden_s  
> Summary: The twins have chosen differently and Elladan is not sure he can accept this as well as having to deal with everything else.
> 
> A/N:Thank you Rhapsody for the very lovely artwork! Also I've added the link at the end of chapter three to anyway wishing to read more of Elladan and Elrohir's final meeting.

Elladan barely left Sirwen's side after learning she was carrying their child. With Faeron's help, they had converted one of the rooms into a nursery, thought Sirwen still refused to let anyone know if she knew whether they were expecting a son or a daughter.  She wished it to be a surprise.

 

“She even refuses to discuss names,” Elladan commented to Faeron as they added the finishing touches to the baby's room. “She insists that we will know the perfect name only after we see him.”

 

“Or her,” Faeron added, ignoring the look that Elladan gave him.

 

“It will be a boy,” Elladan replied, rolling his eyes as he heard Faeron laughing.

 

“We shall see,” Faeron told him. “And she is right, even your father did not have names for either of you until he first saw you both,” he pointed out “He has told you this.”

 

“Yes he has,” Elladan agreed. “I am not good at being patient and all this waiting...”

 

Faeron's laughter again echoed around them. Elladan merely rolled his eyes again as he tried to ignore him. He glanced over at his long time friend briefly, hiding his smile as he shook his head in amusement.

 

“I noticed most of the patrol was present for breakfast,” Elladan said. “I take it Glorfindel and the others arrived during the night?”

 

“They did,” Faeron nodded. “The report is already written and on your desk. There were no problems or threats. One of the paths on the northern border had been blocked. A large branch had fallen across the path. Glorfindel had them clear the way.”

 

“If only all patrols were so uneventful,” Elladan commented, mostly to himself. If Faeron had heard him, he did not give a reply.

 

“There was a messenger who arrived with the patrol,” Faeron replied. “I have not seen him yet, but I was told he had brought news from Gondor, perhaps a reply to your letter to your siblings.”

 

“Have him leave any letters on my desk,” Elladan told him. “I promised Sirwen we would enjoy lunch by the falls.”

 

“As you wish,” Faeron nodded. He knew Elladan was also stalling. Though he was sure he wished for news on his twin, he still had yet to fully accept his brother's choice.

 

Elladan glanced over at Faeron and had started to say something. He changed his mind and merely shook his head. If Faeron had heard anything of Elrohir, his long time friend would have already mentioned it.

 

“This is almost finished,” Elladan replied, taking a step back to admire their work “I can finish the rest. I am sure Glorfindel would like to spend some time with you.”

 

Elladan had not meant for his comment to sound as hard as it had, at least it had sounded that way to his own ears. Glorfindel and Faeron had been spending a lot of time together and Elladan was bothered by it, though he could not explain why. Every time he saw them together, he felt tightness in his chest or would become agitated.

 

“We do have plans for lunch,” Faeron nodded, trying to judge the look Elladan had. Faeron knew more than he was admitting to. However, due to a promise to Glorfindel, he remained silent. It was Glorfindel's place to admit some things to Elladan. All Faeron could do was offer some comfort to an old friend.

 

“I see,” Elladan replied. “Then go and enjoy lunch.”

 

“And I hope you enjoy yours as well,” Faeron said, grinning as he added “My Lord.”

 

Elladan could only laugh as Faeron ducked in time to avoid being hit by the book Elladan had tossed at him. He watched as the elf disappeared from his view and let out a deep breath. He had seen the change in his friend and he was sure it was from his spending time with Glorfindel.

 

The more he thought about it, the more he felt the two of them made a good match. They both shared many of the same interests and they had always gotten along. In fact, Elladan had seen the way they had sometimes teased each other. In a friendly way, of course. He should be happy to see two of his friends together. So then, why wasn't he?

 

Pushing those thoughts aside, Elladan left the nursery to join Sirwen. He had promised a lunch by the falls and he intended to keep his promise. It was still early in the pregnancy but already she seemed to be more tired with each passing day. She had assured him that all was fine but he worried anyway. He hoped that perhaps a little fresh air would do her some good. 

 

He had not failed to notice how little she ate and it worried him even more. She seemed relaxed for now and he did not wish to change that. For now, he would keep an eye on her and if she did not eat much then he could perhaps get her to eat more often.

 

”It feels good to be outside,” she whispered, placing his hand against her stomach as she rested against the blanket, her head turned to enjoy the view of the falls.

 

“Yes it does,” he agreed, his hand caressing her stomach gently. He rested his head on one hand as he leaned against his arm. He saw her close her eyes slowly and knew she was even more tired than she had been admitting. He let her rest and quietly just watched her as she slept.

 

Elladan had returned to work later than he had planned. He had let Sirwen rest for as long as she needed to then spent even more time just sitting with her and enjoying the peace around them. Once they had returned, he made his way to his office. He was curious to see if the messenger had brought any news from Gondor, either from Arwen or Elrohir.

 

The letter in his hand had yet to be opened. There were not many reasons for Legolas to be sending news so soon after his last letter just a few weeks earlier. He thought perhaps Legolas had been told the news of Sirwen's pregnancy and had written to wish her well. No matter how much he tried to convince himself of this, Elladan knew this letter did not bring good news.

 

It took some time before he finally opened the letter to read it. He heard his door open and thought perhaps it was Sirwen. She always seemed to show up when he was upset. He had not been expecting Glorfindel to suddenly be standing beside his desk.

 

“Aragorn has passed,” Elladan said quietly, still not wanting to believe the words he had just read.

 

“I know,” Glorfindel replied. “Legolas wrote to me as well,” he added when Elladan had looked up at him questioningly.

 

“Arwen's plans are to ride to Lorien,” Elladan said, closing his eyes when he felt Glorfindel's hand against his shoulder. “She goes there to fade.”

 

“We knew this time would come,” Glorfindel told him, keeping his hand where it was though he gave Elladan's should a light squeeze in support.

 

“Was that supposed to make it easier?” Elladan asked. He dropped the letter onto the desk as he stood up. “Aragorn was as much my family as you and Erestor,” he said “and now he's gone and my sister wishes to fade. Legolas mentioned that Elrohir was also told and yet no one has seen him since.”

 

Glorfindel stood in place while he watched Elladan, letting him vent his anger. It was taking every ounce of his willpower not to pull Elladan into his arms and hold him. He took a deep breath when Elladan began to pace then he suddenly stopped the younger elf.

 

“Meet her there,” he told him. “Talk to her.”

 

“You mean say goodbye,” Elladan cut in, pulling away. “We both know that is what I would be doing.”

 

“Just as we both know you will regret it if you do not do this,” Glorfindel added. “There will be no other chance. Go to Lorien.”

 

Elladan leaned against his desk and glanced down at the letter. He knew Glorfindel was right; he would not get this chance again.

 

“Sirwen....” Elladan started to say as he shook his head.

 

“She will understand,” Glorfindel replied. “She will tell you how you need to do this and how she will be here when you return,” he added. “And she will not be alone. Both myself and Faeron will be here for her.”

 

Elladan looked over at Glorfindel when he had mentioned him and Faeron. He wanted to comment on that but just did not have the energy to have that conversation. Letting out a deep breath, he finally nodded.

 

“Good,” Glorfindel replied “now go see Sirwen. I'll have everything ready for you by the time you are done.” He turned to leave but looked back over his shoulder. “I would go with you, Elladan, if I did not feel you needed to do this alone.”

 

“I know,” Elladan replied. The two shared a brief look before Glorfindel left, leaving Elladan to his own thoughts.

 

Glorfindel had been right; Sirwen insisted that Elladan journey to Lorien. He still did not feel right leaving her in her condition though she had assured him she would be fine. Still, he promised to return quickly. He swore he would be there for the birth of their child.

 

“Somehow, I knew you would not let me journey alone,” Elladan commented as he entered the stables. His horse stood ready, as did two of Glorfindel's best guards.

 

“They will see you to the borders of Lorien,” Glorfindel said, “and will wait there for when you are ready to return.”

 

Elladan gave a grateful nod, more relieved than he was willing to admit. His mind was already on too many things at once. He was sure Glorfindel had known this. As he mounted his horse, the two guards led theirs outside the stable. He glanced down when he felt a light touch against his leg

 

“Tell her she has been greatly missed in Rivendell,” Glorfindel told him, “and that I still hold my promise.”

 

Elladan was curious to know what promise had been made but knew it was not his place to ask. He nodded in reply then had placed his hand over Glorfindel's. They shared a look again and only looked away when Elladan's horse became impatient.

 

“Have a safe journey,” he heard Glorfindel call as he had left the stables. Elladan had not looked back; he was not sure he could have left if he had. There had been something in the way Glorfindel had looked at him, something that Elladan had noticed a few times before.

 

~ * ~ *

 

Having traveled to Lorien many times in his life, Elladan felt this journey there had taken longer than usual and still had not been long enough. He knew what he would have to face in Lorien and he was not sure he was ready for that. He had said goodbye to many friends in the past as well as his own parents. Only with them, he knew he would see them again. That was not the case with Arwen. This time, when he said goodbye, it would be for good. This would be the last time he would ever see or speak with her.

 

Memories of both Arwen and Aragorn came often along the way. The guards that had traveled with him had given up on including him into their conversation.  He could almost hear Arwen's laugh as either him or Elrohir had teased her during her younger years. It had been the twins who had first noticed the way that Arwen would watch Aragorn. They had also covered for their younger sister each time she had wished for a moment alone with the ranger.

 

Knowing that Arwen's time was soon coming to an end, Elladan once again thought about Elrohir. He wondered if his twin would have journeyed to Lorien with Arwen. He was so deep into his own thoughts that he had not even noticed they had reached the borders of Lorien. Only when one of the guards promised to wait for him did he realize where they were.

 

Without his grandmother's presence, Lorien had felt different. It had an almost lonely feeling. Most of the elves that had not sailed for Valinor had come to live in Rivendell. Others had moved on to Mirkwood. Each step his horse took seemed to echo around them. Looking up, Elladan thought he caught a glimpse of something, though he could not say what.

 

He knew where to go to find her. It would not be the talan she once lived in when she spent time here, nor would it be the place their grandparents had called home. Arwen's favorite place in Lorien had been their grandmother's gardens. She often spoke of the time she spent there and how peaceful it had always been for her.

 

“Arwen?” he called to her gently as he made his way to her. The gardens were not how he had remembered them. Through some of the flowers remained, the garden itself was overrun with weeds and vines.

 

“You came,” Arwen replied, turning slowly to face him, giving him a soft, tired smile.

 

“You did not think I would?” he asked her. It was hard to see her as she was now. Perhaps anyone who did not know her so well would say she looked the same. To Elladan, she looked older and he could tell she was tired. Aragorn's final days could not been easy for her.

 

“I am glad you did,” was the only reply she gave. She let out a deep breath when Elladan stood before her, closing her eyes when she was pulled into a tight embrace. “I do not have much time left.”

 

“Arwen...” Elladan shook his head, not wanting to have to think of losing his sister.

 

“No, Elladan,” she sighed softly. “I made my choice years ago and I have no regrets. I loved him and we had a good life together. It was worth it.”

 

Elladan grinned as he held her tighter. Even now, she seemed to know what he had been thinking and had been about to ask. She gave him the answer he had hoped for. He closed his eyes as he felt her lay her head against his shoulder.

 

“Tell them,” she whispered, knowing he would know she meant their parents. “I would not have them thinking I made the wrong choice,” she added. “Promise me you will tell them.”

 

“I promise,” Elladan nodded. He could feel her shivering against him and he wondered briefly if she was afraid of what was to happen. He shook his head at his own silent question. Even when she was younger, Arwen had been afraid of nothing.

 

“It feels cold here,” Arwen whispered softly, finally stepped back and looking around slowly. She shivered again as she rubbed her arms.

 

“Here,” Elladan replied, removing his cloak and wrapping it around her. “I will find some wood to start a fire with. It will help to keep you warm.”

 

“You should let him know you are here,” Arwen said softly. She had heard no reply yet she knew Elrohir had heard her. She had known he had been following her since she had left Gondor. She would have been very surprised if he had not been there. She knew he was hidden within the trees nearby and hoped he would reveal himself. “He needs closure just as you do,” she continued. “Do not wait until it is too late.”

 

It was only a few minutes later when Elladan returned. He wasted no time in starting a fire for them and brought Arwen closer to the flames, sitting quietly with her. They spent the night awake, sometimes talking of old times, remembering friends and family. Other times they just sat quietly with Arwen's head resting in Elladan's lap.

 

“He misses you, Elladan,” she whispered. “He will not admit it, yet I can tell. I saw a glimpse of excitement in his eyes each time you sent news. I know you miss him as well.”

 

“I do,” Elladan admitted, running one hand through his hair.

 

“Then find a way to work through this,” she whispered as she looked up towards him.

 

Elladan knew she was fighting to keep her eyes open now and he had to fight the urge to plead with her not to do this. Reaching down, he took her hand into his then lifted it and kissed the back of it.

 

“Sleep,” he told her quietly as he watched her close her eyes. Leaning down, Elladan placed a light kiss against her forehead and then sat there quietly watching her. He knew the moment she finally stopped shivering that she was gone. Looking down, he saw that she was now at peace.

 

“Goodbye, Arwen,” he whispered quietly, though he had yet to move her. He still held her hand in his.  He was only vaguely aware that he was no longer holding back his tears.

 

“You need to let her go,” Elrohir said quietly as he stood behind Arwen.

 

“Not yet,” Elladan replied. He did not have the energy to turn around and face his twin, though he desperately wanted to. “I have said goodbye too many times over the last few years. Each time was worse than the time before. I can barely breathe now, how do you expect me to handle losing you?”

 

“It is why I left,” Elrohir told him. “It is why I will not return to Imladris.” Elrohir had taken a step closer and placed a hand on his twin's shoulder. “She told me where she wished to be buried. It is ready for her. I have said my goodbye to her before we came. Say yours now, then go home.”

 

Elladan was still looking down at Arwen and did not reply. When he did finally turn his head, Elrohir was gone. He closed his eyes and had to take a few deep breaths. It had not helped to stop his tears as they continued to fall.

 

He had never felt as alone as he did at that very moment.

 

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

Elladan said very little on the journey home. The guards he traveled with gave him his space and for that he was grateful; he had nothing to say at the moment. His thoughts were once again filled memories of Arwen, as well as Elrohir. He did not wish to think of how his twin was aging, but the thought was constantly running through his mind.

 

Once they had passed the borders and were safely within the realm of Imladris, Elladan dismissed his escort and continued towards home on his own. The closer he was the faster he urged his horse. They were racing down the path by the time he had the stables within his view.

 

“One would say you had been in a hurry to arrive home,” Glorfindel commented as he arrived to greet Elladan.

 

Elladan said nothing as he slowly dismounted his horse. He quietly tended to his horse himself then led the animal to its stall and made sure it had plenty of food and water. He knew Glorfindel was watching his every move but was too tired to really care.

 

“Have a stall set up for Celeborn's horse,” Elladan commented finally, having stopped one of the young elves who worked in the stables. He waited until the young elf had rushed off presumably to do as he had just been told. “He left Lorien when I did,” he told Glorfindel. “He was following closely the entire way.”

 

Glorfindel was not surprised to hear what Elladan told him of Celeborn, though he had thought that Celeborn would not have stayed in Lorien this long after Galadriel had left. Just as he was about to say something to Elladan, Faeron came rushing into the stables.

 

“I would say you arrived home just in time,” Faeron said, glancing briefly at Glorfindel before he turned his attention back to Elladan. “Sirwen is showing signs of labor,” he added.

 

Elladan greeted Faeron and had been about to rush off to the healing wing when he stopped and looked back at Glorfindel.

 

“Go,” Glorfindel chuckled lightly. “I will stay to greet Celeborn,” he assured the younger elf then let out a deep breath as he watched Elladan rush off. 

 

“He will need you now more than ever,” Faeron told Glorfindel quietly. “Though he will be as stubborn as always.”

 

Glorfindel nodded silently then turned his head to look towards the one elf that had been more than just a friend in the last few years. He reached over and, out of habit, tucked some of Faeron's hair back behind his ear. Both elves both turned to greet Celeborn as he made his presence known.

 

 

Elladan made his way to the healing rooms, pushing the doors open slowly as he stepped inside. Making his way to where Sirwen was, he gently sat on the edge of the bed.

 

“I was not sure you would make it back in time,” Sirwen said quietly when Elladan took her hand into his.

 

“There is nothing that would have kept me from being here,” Elladan assured her. He took her hand in his and with his other he reached up and brushed the hair back out of her eyes. He could see how tired she looked and it concerned him.

 

Elladan watched silently as one of the assistant healers came over to give Sirwen a small cup of tea. He knew the healer would have put some herbs in the drink to help her stay relaxed. He did not fail to notice how her hand shook as she held the small cup. As she rested back on the bed, Elladan lifted her hand and kissed it softly. He saw her close her eyes slowly and sat quietly, letting her find what rest she could at the moment.

 

Once he saw that Sirwen was relaxing, Elladan had a chair brought over for him and he sat quietly beside the bed. He kept his hand in hers, even as she rested. He could hear voices from out in the hall. Glorfindel was there, of that he was sure and Celeborn as well, if he were to take a guess. For now, though they could wait. He would not leave Sirwen's side, and the others would give them privacy and would either wait out in the hall or wait until they were called in.

 

He was grateful to have the healing rooms as quiet as they were. It meant Sirwen would hopefully stay relaxed. He knew the memory of Arwen's last moments wanted to surface as he sat. He managed to push the memories to the back of his mind, though he knew he would have to deal with them soon. For now, it was too much to even think about.

 

Elladan closed his eyes just briefly, or so he thought. When he opened them again, Sirwen was sitting up and the assistant healer was reminding her to take deep breaths. He sat up in the chair he was in and caught the grin the healer gave him, which made him wonder how long he had been asleep. The headache he was now feeling gave him some idea that he had been out for a while and had most likely been in a deep sleep. It was the only time he ever had a headache as soon as he woke up.

 

It did not take much longer and within a short time, Elladan was once again in the chair, holding his newly born daughter. Once the baby was cradled safely in his arms and sleeping peacefully, he glanced towards the bed and grinned as he saw Sirwen watching.

 

“There will never be a sight better than seeing you holding her,” Sirwen told him quietly. She watched as he moved from the chair slowly, keeping their daughter tucked protectively against him.

 

Elladan eased himself next to Sirwen on the bed, leaning closer to let her get a better look. After the baby had been born, Sirwen had been exhausted and fell asleep almost instantly. Elladan had been holding his daughter ever since.

 

“She'll have my hair,” Sirwen said, seeing the tiny blonde curls that had been hidden by the blanket she was wrapped in. “And your eyes.”

 

Elladan chuckled as he leaned over and kissed the top of Sirwen's head softly. She still appeared tired, but after all she had been though, Elladan felt it was to be expected.

 

“I can only hope, it is not my temper she will have,” Elladan said, earning a grin from Sirwen. “We may be in trouble if she does.”

 

“I am sure you will be able to handle it just fine if she does,” Sirwen replied.

 

Elladan arched an eyebrow slightly but before he could say anything, the door to the healing rooms opened. Looking over, he saw Faeron peeking around the door towards them.

 

“I am afraid I must interrupt,” Faeron said, grinning. “I normally would wait, however I have two very persistent elf-lords who are debating on who will come in first.”

 

Elladan gave a laugh then turned his head to look at Sirwen. She smiled in return and told him to bring their daughter to meet the others while she took a few more minutes to rest. Elladan promised he would not be long then carefully moved from the bed and carried his daughter towards the door. He looked over his shoulder in time to see Sirwen lean back and close her eyes.

 

“Well it is about time,” Glorfindel commented when Elladan stepped into the hall. He moved to take a step forward when he was suddenly pulled out of the way. The growl that echoed through the hall only made the others chuckle.

 

“It is my right to get first look,” Celeborn said as he moved beside Elladan to see.

 

Faeron stood back, amused at seeing the three elf lords and trained warriors making a fuss over Elladan's daughter. It was sight, he felt, everyone should have a chance to see.

 

“How is Sirwen?” Glorfindel asked Elladan.

 

“She is tired,” Elladan replied. “Though I am sure she will be for a day or two.”

 

Glorfindel nodded in agreement as he looked down at the tiny elfling still cradled safely in her father's arms. He could see the resemblance to Sirwen; however he saw a lot of Elladan in her as well.

 

Elladan looked up at the same moment Glorfindel had, their eyes locking almost instantly. Elladan thought that he saw a flash of something in the older elf's eyes but before he could think what it was, the look was gone. Glorfindel's attention was the baby once more.

 

“What are we to call this one?” Glorfindel finally thought to ask, grinning as even Celeborn looked up and arched an eyebrow. “Though, little one works for now, she may not agree as she gets older.”

 

“Sílavir,” Elladan replied, looking at his daughter, smiling as her little head had turned towards the sound of his voice. “It was the name we decided on before my journey to Lorien,” he added quietly.

 

“Shining jewel,” Glorfindel commented, thinking the name already suited the elfling though she was less than an hour old. Judging by the look in Elladan's eyes as he gazed down at his daughter, Glorfindel knew she would always be Elladan's most precious jewel.

 

Elladan felt sure that the others would check on him and his family soon, then returned to sit by Sirwen's bed. He spoke with the assistant healer and made sure she knew to add some herbs to Sirwen's next cup of tea. The herbs he mentioned would give her some of the energy she would need.

 

One of the servants had brought in a baby's cradle and after a while, Elladan settled Silavir into it, keeping her wrapped in her little blanket. He continued to watch her until she drifted off to sleep after just a small amount of fuss. Once the baby was sleeping, Elladan moved into the bed with Sirwen and closed his eyes, draping one arm gently over Sirwen.

 

He woke up briefly when one of the healers came to check on Sirwen. He checked on Silavir once he had sat up in the bed and was glad to see she was sleeping peacefully. When he looked back towards the healer, he saw the concerned look on her face.

 

“What have you not told me?” Elladan questioned. He did not like the way the healer seemed to ignore him as she continued to check on Sirwen.

 

“Sirwen has been tired for days,” the young healer finally replied. “She assumed at first it was only because near the end of the pregnancy. She came to the healing rooms and asked for something to help her sleep.”

 

Elladan glanced towards Sirwen, reaching over to run his fingers along her jaw. He had just been dreaming about her. In the dream, she had been trying to tell him something. He had been reminded of the dreams he once had of Elrohir. The only difference, Elrohir had always seemed worried in these dreams. Sirwen had seemed peaceful, almost happy.

 

“She had started to feel tired since the beginning of her pregnancy,” Elladan told her. “She would barely eat unless she knew I was watching.”

 

Nodding, the healer moved to the side where Elladan was. She took a moment to check Silavir before she turned her attention back to Elladan.

 

“Labor took a lot out of her,” she told him “It may have been more than her body could handle.”

 

Elladan, as he sat up more, arched an eyebrow. The healer's comment had him even more concerned than he had been. He thought back to how he'd seen her during the pregnancy. She had always been more than just a little tired. Though she would assure him that she was fine, Elladan should have known better.

 

 “We'll give her the herbs that she needs,” Elladan commented. “Something to give her energy during the day. Then some to help her sleep at night.”

 

“Then I suggest she stay in the healing rooms until she has regained her strength,” she told him. “She would find more rest here at night and you can care for your daughter in your rooms.”

 

Elladan had been about to protest until he thought about it. If he had Silavir in their room at night, Sirwen would sleep peacefully. He could easily bring their daughter to see Sirwen each morning. It was not how they had planned things, but for now, it would have to do. He was also concerned that she would feel his stress, should he continue to have these nightmares.

 

~ * ~

 

“No!” Elladan shouted as he suddenly sat up in his bed. He could feel his hair clinging to him and reached up, running a hand through the damp strands to push it away from his face. He was breathing deeply and could still feel his heart pounding against his chest.

 

He glanced around the room briefly then as the memory of his dream came rushing through his mind, Elladan moved quickly to get dressed. He wanted to be sure it had been nothing more than a bad dream. He had just managed to pull his tunic over his head when he heard the knock at his door.

 

The minute he opened the door and saw the assistant healer with Glorfindel and Celeborn behind her, Elladan knew his dream had been real. Everything from that moment on was a blur. He was only vaguely aware of what the young healer was trying to tell him. He had somehow moved back into his room and was sitting on his sofa.

 

He looked up slowly as he heard Glorfindel call his name yet he had no idea what else the older elf was saying. He turned his head briefly when he felt the light touch on his shoulder. He slowly looked up to see his grandfather watching him closely. He saw the concern in Celeborn’s eyes as well as Glorfindel's.

 

“It was supposed to be just a dream,” Elladan finally said after a long while. The healer had left yet Glorfindel and Celeborn had refused to leave him alone, both taking turns to care for Silavir when needed, leaving Elladan to his own thoughts.

 

“What was?” Glorfindel asked quietly. Elladan was still sitting on the sofa and Glorfindel had pulled a chair closer, sitting almost directly in front of him.

 

“I saw her in my dream,” Elladan told him “She told me she knew our time together would be short. That she was meant to give me my daughter.” He looked over at his daughter in Celeborn's arms. “She mentioned that there was another who was waiting,” he said, missing the look that Glorfindel shared with Celeborn. “I've woken every night after this dream.”

 

Elladan got up and took his daughter from his grandfather. He sighed quietly as he held her in his arms, kissing her forehead softly. He had not told them that in his dream, Sirwen had always asked him to promise her that he would raise their daughter for them both. In the beginning, when the dream first started, he had never given her his answer. This time he had given an answer and made the promise she had asked of him.

 

 

Not having anything else to say at the moment. Elladan pulled an extra baby blanket from the cradle and had wrapped it around Silavir. He carried her out onto his balcony, leaving the glass doors open behind him. He could feel the night's cool breeze and looked down to see if his daughter was bothered by it.

 

“Give him a minute,” Celeborn told Glorfindel as he held his arm and pulled him back gently. “Let him take some air.”

 

When Elladan did finally come back in, it was only Celeborn that remained. The older elf noticed the way Elladan looked around and assumed he was looking for Glorfindel.

 

“I sent him for some food,” Celeborn explained “and something for Silavir when it is time.”

 

Elladan merely nodded in reply and made his way back to the sofa, keeping his daughter with him. She was asleep but he had no wish to put her in her bed just yet. Sirwen was gone and their daughter was all he had now. He would keep his promise, this he vowed silently as he watched the tiny elfling sleep peacefully.

 

It was a while later when Glorfindel finally returned, bringing them all something to eat. The bottle was ready for Silavir for when she was due for her next feeding. It occurred to him why Sirwen always insisted that Elladan feed their daughter. She would always say she was too tired or felt too weak. Elladan now knew she was making the bond stronger between father and daughter.

 

He sat quietly as he only half listened to Glorfindel and Celeborn's conversation. They were discussing how Elladan had been as an elfling and some of the trouble he would get into, both with and without his twin. He shut out the rest once they had mentioned Elrohir, not wanting to have to think of his twin at the moment, not when he had just lost another person he cared about.

 

Whether or not he wished to think of the others, the memories came rushing back once more. Seeing his mother after she had been attacked, watching his father break down when she had left them and sailed without them. Arwen's choice to marry Aragorn even the disagreement he had with Elrohir before his twin had left. It had all come rushing back. The memory of watching Arwen fade had been followed by his memory of hearing Elrohir but being unable to face him.

 

He looked up, not having realized the others in the room were now watching him. He knew he had said something, though he was not sure what. He closed his eyes, wanting the room to stop spinning and he suddenly felt as if he couldn't breathe.

 

“I have her,” he heard Glorfindel say though he seemed to be speaking from a great distance away. It was all he remembered before everything had suddenly gone dark.

 

It was Glorfindel he called for when he opened his eyes. Looking around, he could see he had been moved to his bed. It did not take him long to figure out what happened. He remembered having felt overwhelmed as all the memories had come rushing back along with the pain of having lost Sirwen.

 

“He is there,” Celeborn replied, guiding Elladan's attention to the sofa across the room. “She would throw a fit the minute we tried to put her in her bed,” he added. “He rocked her to sleep then drifted off not too long after.”

 

“Always the guardian,” Elladan commented as he watched Glorfindel sleeping, Silavir sleeping against his chest with a blanket covering her. Glorfindel had one hand against her back to keep her safely against him; his free hand was resting against his side where he would normally have his sword.

 

“Would you expect any less from him?” Celeborn asked while looking at Elladan in time to see his grandson shake his head in reply. “Nor would I.”

 

“I remember when mother sailed,” Elladan commented quietly. “He followed my father everywhere.”

 

“I remember that well,” Celeborn replied. “It lasted until your father ordered him to stop. His attention then turned to you, Elrohir and Arwen.”

 

Elladan still watched Glorfindel as the older elf continued to sleep. He had enjoyed those days with Glorfindel and could easily picture them sitting by the lake and listening to any story that Glorfindel had been willing to tell them.  When both Elladan and Elrohir would ride out in search of more orcs to kill, Glorfindel had always seen them off and was among the first to greet them upon their return. Thinking about this now, Elladan realized that, even after all the years that had passed, Glorfindel was still the first one to greet him.

 

“Rest,” Celeborn said, pulling Elladan from his thoughts. “He'll wake you if there is any need to.”

 

Elladan let out a deep breath after Celeborn had left after promising to return later to check on things. Elladan was not sure how much rest he would find, yet something told him that neither Glorfindel nor Celeborn would let him do much else. He knew if he were made to rest for too long, his mind would once again wander towards things he had no wish to think about.

 

Turning his head when he had heard his daughter fussing softly, he thought of his promise again and decided that his daughter would be the distraction he needed. Keeping his focus on her might be what he needed to get through this and everything else.

 

~ * ~

 

“What are you doing?” Elladan shot Glorfindel a look. The older elf had walked into Elladan's study and dropped into the chair across from Elladan.

 

“Keeping you company,” Glorfindel replied casually. He reached towards Elladan's desk and picked up one of the files on it. “Healing supplies,” he commented dropping the file back onto the desk. “Looks quite interesting.”

 

Elladan chuckled as he pushed aside the paperwork he had in front of him and leaned back in his own seat. He tilted his head just a little as he watched Glorfindel

 

“I see,” Elladan said, grinning. “Celeborn managed to get Silavir's interest and she went with him.”

 

“Perhaps,” Glorfindel replied, rolling his eyes. “Stop raising your eyebrow, you look too much like your father when you do that.”

 

“Her first birthday is coming up,” Elladan said. “Now before you say anything, I just do not think I can handle a huge celebration,” he added. “Something small, perhaps.”

 

Elladan was relieved when Glorfindel nodded in reply and he seemed to understand why Elladan would not want a huge party. Too much had happened around that one day the year before and Elladan feared becoming overwhelmed again. He wanted the day to be about Silavir and not any of the bad memories that still haunted him.

 

“Faeron will manage everything,” Glorfindel said. “He lives for these kinds of things.”

 

“I know,” Elladan agreed. “He would have my head if I had anyone else plan the event.”

 

“He reminds me of Erestor that way,” was the reply Glorfindel gave.

 

Both elves sat quietly for a short while, enjoying each other’s company. It was something they did often, though mostly at night when Elladan's daughter was asleep.

 

“Take a walk with me,” Glorfindel said suddenly. “The boring reports can wait,” he added when it looked like Elladan had been about to decline.

 

Elladan finally agreed and moved away from his desk. He followed Glorfindel to the door then glanced back at his desk. He could not help but laugh when Glorfindel took his arm and pulled him out of his study. He had no choice but to follow him now, though if he were being honest with himself, he would admit that he was glad to be out of his study and with Glorfindel.

 

“So the rumors were true,” Elladan said as they followed an old path near the lake. He stopped when an old, yet well cared for cabin came into view. “You do have a cabin.”

 

Glorfindel grinned as he gave Elladan a nod in reply. He urged the younger elf forward then unlocked the door for them. He had come a few days before to air out the place and clean anything that needed cleaning. Of course he had restocked the supplies as well.

 

“It was here I would spend some time when I needed to be alone,” Glorfindel told him. “Only your father and Erestor would know where I was.”

 

“In case you were needed,” Elladan added, not needing to even look at Glorfindel to know he had guessed right. When he did finally glance back at Glorfindel, he found the other elf to be watching him closely.

 

“I would have showed this place to you had you asked,” Glorfindel told him. “I lost count how many times I would sense you and your twin following me,” he grinned. “As you got older it became harder to keep you both from finding me, especially you.”

 

“Well,” Elladan chuckled lightly, “that would be your own fault. After all, it was you who showed me how to track just about anyone.”

 

“True,” Glorfindel nodded, “but the ‘anyone’ part was not supposed to include me.”

 

Elladan closed his eyes briefly before turning around slowly to face Glorfindel. He had not realized until that moment how close Glorfindel had been standing.

 

“I would have followed you anywhere,” Elladan told him “Just as I would now.”

 

When Glorfindel did not give a reply Elladan closed what little distance there was between them. He looked down briefly when he had felt Glorfindel's hands resting against his hips.

 

“She was talking about you wasn't she?” Elladan questioned. “You're the one who has been waiting.”

 

“She knew more than I thought,” Glorfindel replied, letting out a deep breath. “I assume she saw what I've spent years trying to keep hidden.” he added, “because she felt the same way about you as I did, as I still do.”

 

“Why did you not say something?” Elladan asked. “There were times when I thought there was something between us,” he added. “At least I would often hope there was.”

 

“There always was something,” Glorfindel replied. “There were times when it was almost impossible not to tell you how I felt.” He glanced over towards the sofa then guided Elladan over to it. “I kept telling myself that I needed to wait, that it was not yet our time,” he added, grinning when Elladan gave him a questioning look.

 

“Your father saw more than he ever admitted to,” Glorfindel continued. “He always knew how I felt, in fact, he probably knew even before I did,” he said. “Before he sailed, he told me I would know when it would be right for us.”

 

Elladan was now sitting beside Glorfindel on the sofa. He sighed quietly and leaned into the older elf, then felt Glorfindel's arm wrapping around his shoulders. He was reminded of how he would often sit this way when he was younger and listen to one of Glorfindel's stories.

 

“You stepped aside for Sirwen,” Elladan said after having been silent for a short while.

 

“I saw how happy you had become when you were with her,” Glorfindel said. “It was how I always wanted to see you, even if it meant seeing you with someone else. It was not always easy to watch the two of you, though”

 

Elladan had said nothing at first as he listened to Glorfindel speak. After a short while, he lifted his head and turned just enough so that he sat facing Glorfindel. He wanted to see the truth in Glorfindel's eyes and was relieved when he had found it.

 

“I once believed you knew everything,” Elladan said as he reached over and slowly ran his hand through Glorfindel's hair. “And that it would always be impossible to hide anything from you. I always wanted there to be more between us. It was all I had ever hoped for when I was younger.”

 

Glorfindel started to say something but Elladan shook his head and asked that he be allowed to continue first. He gave him a small smile when Glorfindel nodded in reply.

 

“I was happy with Sirwen and I do not regret what I had with her, however there was always some part of me that never gave up hoping for you,” Elladan said “Then when you and  Faeron...”

 

Glorfindel was the one who silenced Elladan, only this time he did it by kissing him until they were both breathless.

 

“Faeron knew how I felt about you,” Glorfindel replied after the kiss. “He saw how tormented I was after having watched you walk off with Sirwen. He became as much of a distraction to me as I was to him,” he said, grinning at the look Elladan gave him “It was a mutual agreement. We both could not have the one we truly wanted.”

 

“Who is it that he wants?” Elladan heard himself asking.

 

“That is something you will have to ask him,” Glorfindel told him. “What we did have has been over since...” he paused briefly “well since the day Silavir was born.”

 

Elladan let out a deep breath as the two elves sat facing each other. He could still remember his dream clearly and Sirwen's words suddenly ran though his mind. He had no doubt that she knew not only how Glorfindel felt about him but also how he felt for Glorfindel.

 

“Your wait is over, Glorfindel, as is mine.” he said before kissing him deeply.

 

Elladan suddenly gasped for breath as the kiss ended. He had not noticed that they had moved during the kiss and that Glorfindel was now lying under him on the sofa. He could not seem to look away from Glorfindel as he sat up slowly.

 

“What are you thinking?” Glorfindel asked. Reaching over he ran one hand through Elladan's hair slowly and grinned as the younger elf leaned into his touch.

 

“Faeron will keep us busy for the next little while with planning Silavir's celebration,” Elladan replied. “It would be nice to have one entire night just for us,” he added. “Perhaps tonight, we could stay here?”

 

“We have everything we need here already,” Glorfindel replied, grinning at him “Though I am sure you will want to let Celeborn know that Silavir can stay with him for the night.”

 

Elladan nodded in reply before leaning closer and kissing Glorfindel deeply, leaving both elves once again breathless by the time the kiss had ended.

 

“Let's do that now,” Glorfindel told him, “or we risk not leaving here at all.”

 

Elladan laughed then after sharing a few more deep, passionate kisses, finally moved so that Glorfindel could get up as well. As they were leaving, Elladan stopped briefly to turn and look back at the cabin.

 

“We'll make this place our soon enough,” Glorfindel whispered into his ear before he kissed the pointed tip, chuckling as Elladan had moaned quietly.

 

“Tease me all you wish now, Glorfindel,” Elladan said, “but, I will have my revenge later.”

 

Glorfindel laughed as he slid his arm around Elladan's waist then nuzzled the younger elf’s neck. “I look forward to that,” he said, nipping at Elladan's neck.

 

Elladan closed his eyes briefly as a small shiver moved through him. He heard Glorfindel chuckle lightly. He lifted his head and kissed the older elf deeply then grinned as he pushed him out the door.

 

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

It was years later, as Elladan, with Glorfindel and their daughter, prepared to leave Arda. He had been quiet as he stood and watched their things being loaded onto the ship. There was no mistaking the voice he had heard behind him.

 

When he had turned to face his twin, nothing could have prepared him for the sight he had been met with. It was in that very moment he envied his father, Elrond, for not having seen how his twin had aged. This was not the image Elladan wished to remember Elrohir with.

 

Years of pent up anger and frustration between the twins finally reached its breaking point. Their words had become heated as they both accused the other for having been too stubborn, keeping them separated from each other until they no longer had any time left. Elladan remembered striking his twin one minute then waking up to see Glorfindel standing with Elrohir.

 

As the memory faded, Elladan found himself standing at the back of the ship staring out over the water. Arda was no longer within his sight yet he was finding it hard to turn away.

 

“Talk to me,” Glorfindel said as he came up behind Elladan and wrapped his arms around him. He knew seeing his twin again was having an effect on his mate.

 

Elladan leaned back against Glorfindel and closed his eyes briefly. Many years had passed since their first night together in the cabin. Many things had also happened since that night. More attacks had been made on Imladris and very few elves remained.

 

“How long had you been ready to sail?” Elladan asked. “When I told you I was ready, you seemed relieved.”

 

Glorfindel lowered his head and kissed along the back of Elladan's shoulder until he reached his mate's neck, kissing and marking him softly.

 

“My relief was more for you than myself,” Glorfindel admitted. “I know how things have been affecting you lately, and I know that once we reach Valinor, you will finally be able to relax.”

 

Elladan turned his head and kissed Glorfindel deeply. Looking back out over the water, he leaned back against his mate and closed his eyes. He wanted to enjoy the moment but the memory of seeing was still fresh and still painful.

 

“Elrohir looked old,” Elladan finally said. “Not just his appearance, but his eyes as well, he was tired.”

 

“He was not so tired that he could not make one last journey to see you,” Glorfindel pointed out. “He does not regret his choice, Elladan, even after all these years.”

 

“I know,” Elladan nodded. “It was hard to see him but I am glad he came,” he added.

 

“It was something you both needed,” he said. “Neither you nor Elrohir would have found peace had you not spoken one last time.”

 

Elladan let out a deep breath as he had looked up at Glorfindel. After a while he turned back to look towards the water and towards where he knew Arda to be. It felt strange to be leaving the only place he had ever thought of as his home, leaving behind his twin and knowing that Elrohir did not have too many years left.

 

“Perhaps if we had waited,” he said quietly as he turned to face Glorfindel. “I could have had more time with him.”

 

Glorfindel shook his head as he placed his hands on Elladan's shoulders gently in support. He could still see the sadness in his mate's eyes and it was tearing at his own heart.

 

“I can remember how hard it was on you to watch Arwen as she passed,” Glorfindel gently reminded Elladan. “Watching Elrohir suffer the same fate would have been too much for you,” he said, kissing his mate lovingly. “Silavir would have suffered to see you in such a state, as would have I.”

 

“He should not have to go through it alone,” Elladan said, wanting to look back again only this time Glorfindel has stopped him.

 

“He is not alone,” Glorfindel replied. “I saw the ring he wore, Elladan. Elrohir has his own mate. He wanted a chance to say goodbye to you before it was too late. I am sure he did not want you feeling guilty about leaving, he always knew you would.”

 

Elladan let out a deep breath and allowed Glorfindel to pull him into a tight embrace. He thought back to the last few moments he had shared with his twin and realized that Glorfindel was right. Had Elrohir wanted to him to stay, he would have asked it of him. Instead, it was Elladan who had asked Elrohir to make him one last promise.

 

_“Do not let the elves be forgotten,” Elladan told his twin. “Teach them our history and let them hear our stories.” He watched as Elrohir gave a small nod in reply. “When your time is ending, promise me you will return to Imladris and spend your last days there. Find that one place where we used to spend hours together, hiding from everyone else.”_

_“I promise,” Elrohir said before he pulled his brother into a tight embrace. It took everything he had to finally let him go. He shared one last look with Glorfindel then walked away..._

 

__  


 

Elladan almost collapsed against Glorfindel as he remembered the pain he felt, watching Elrohir as he left. His twin had turned to look back only once after having mounted his horse.  He felt Glorfindel's arms tighten around him now as he looked back out over the water one last time.

 

 

“We have a few days before we reach Valinor,” Glorfindel told him “Our daughter is asleep and it would be best if we tried to rest as well,” he added. “I am expecting there will be plenty of excitement when we first arrive.”

 

“It will not be us they come to see,” Elladan told him. “I am sure Faeron has told them everything about Silavir.”

 

Glorfindel chuckled as he nodded in agreement. Faeron had sailed a few years earlier and Celeborn had gone with him. He wondered briefly if their long time friend had found the one he had always longed for. They were sure to find out soon enough.

 

“No more looking back,” Elladan's words pulled Glorfindel from his thoughts.

 

“We have much to look forward to,” Glorfindel added, “and an eternity to make new memories.”

 

Elladan looked up at Glorfindel and, for the first time since saying goodbye to his twin, smiled. He leaned up and kissed him lovingly then rested his head against Glorfindel's shoulder. He thought back over the memories he did have. Some were sad and others would always be painful but through all the hard times, there had been many happy memories.

 

He glanced back one last time as one thought ran through his mind. Even though he had suffered through many hard times and painful memories. Elladan knew things had happened just the way they were supposed to. He had a few regrets but now, as he stood beside his mate, Elladan knew he would not have it any other way.

 

The End!

 

 


End file.
